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A MEMOIR ABOUT WANTING TO DIE

A brave narrative of radical empathy both for oneself and for others confronting the darkest darkness.

A multi-angled examination of suicide.

In 2017, several years after her first suicide attempt, Rebolini became so tormented by a desire to die that she checked herself into a psychiatric ward. In the years since that stay, she has performed sweeping literary, sociological, historical, and psychological research on the topic of suicidality, in an “effort to stake a claim in a conversation dominated by fear and disgust.” Rebolini has been depressed or suicidal most of her life and comes from a “family replete with mental illness”; her own extreme lows mix with those of her brother, Jordan, and other close friends to grant personal shape to a broader inquiry into not only what prompts individuals to engage the extremity of suicide, but also what constitutes recovery from a suicide attempt. Even as the author advances professionally, and achieves other lifelong dreams like marriage and motherhood, the possibility of suicide never disappears, and even the highs of career and family successes necessitate a certain contemplative navigation. She extrapolates from her own financial stress and career ambitions to critique modern stressors like expectations of productivity and barriers to mental health care, and literary figures like Sylvia Plath and David Foster Wallace offer both general lessons and notches against which to measure the severity of her own experience. Rebolini admits that suicide is “tough to talk about because so much of it doesn’t make sense” and that normalizing suicidal thoughts and acts carries a risk. She insists, however, on trying to walk this careful line, and her effort counters the shame of those trying to dodge a persistent desire to not exist, while extending compassionate understanding of and gentle guidance to all those who care for and worry about loved ones struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts.

A brave narrative of radical empathy both for oneself and for others confronting the darkest darkness.

Pub Date: April 29, 2025

ISBN: 9780063295322

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Harper/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: April 15, 2025

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2025

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A PEOPLE'S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES

For Howard Zinn, long-time civil rights and anti-war activist, history and ideology have a lot in common. Since he thinks that everything is in someone's interest, the historian—Zinn posits—has to figure out whose interests he or she is defining/defending/reconstructing (hence one of his previous books, The Politics of History). Zinn has no doubts about where he stands in this "people's history": "it is a history disrespectful of governments and respectful of people's movements of resistance." So what we get here, instead of the usual survey of wars, presidents, and institutions, is a survey of the usual rebellions, strikes, and protest movements. Zinn starts out by depicting the arrival of Columbus in North America from the standpoint of the Indians (which amounts to their standpoint as constructed from the observations of the Europeans); and, after easily establishing the cultural disharmony that ensued, he goes on to the importation of slaves into the colonies. Add the laborers and indentured servants that followed, plus women and later immigrants, and you have Zinn's amorphous constituency. To hear Zinn tell it, all anyone did in America at any time was to oppress or be oppressed; and so he obscures as much as his hated mainstream historical foes do—only in Zinn's case there is that absurd presumption that virtually everything that came to pass was the work of ruling-class planning: this amounts to one great indictment for conspiracy. Despite surface similarities, this is not a social history, since we get no sense of the fabric of life. Instead of negating the one-sided histories he detests, Zinn has merely reversed the image; the distortion remains.

Pub Date: Jan. 1, 1979

ISBN: 0061965588

Page Count: 772

Publisher: Harper & Row

Review Posted Online: May 26, 2012

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 1979

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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