A much-needed story about rediscovering identity after loss.
Miles devoted himself to helping Vivian share her stories with the world, but now that she’s gone, he must learn to live his own story again in Rutledge’s debut novel.
The 18-year-old white boy’s life stopped a year and a half ago when his girlfriend, Vivian, a black transgender woman, lapsed into a coma after attempting suicide. Although Vivian will never awaken, her religious parents keep her connected to life support. Now that she can no longer fight back, they cut her hair and her hormones, and they shut down her viral online magazine, Mixtape. When Vivian was by his side, Miles knew his purpose—they created art together. Without Vivian, he’s lost. Writing in a series of (sometimes very long) instant messages, Miles documents his monthlong adventure in Iceland, where he searches for a future he never imagined living without Vivian. In the company of Óskar, his endearing and snarky Icelandic concierge, Miles discovers a way to honor the woman he loved. While the book shares the perspective of a cisgender boy, Rutledge never treats Vivian’s identity as a problem, nor does she try to provide an easy explanation of Vivian’s attempted suicide. Miles’ exploration and questioning of his queer identity throughout the book is refreshingly unashamed. A brief list of support hotlines is appended.
A much-needed story about rediscovering identity after loss. (Fiction. 14-18)Pub Date: March 20, 2018
ISBN: 978-1-328-85233-5
Page Count: 272
Publisher: HMH Books
Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2018
A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind.
In this companion novel to 2013’s If He Had Been With Me, three characters tell their sides of the story.
Finn’s narrative starts three days before his death. He explores the progress of his unrequited love for best friend Autumn up until the day he finally expresses his feelings. Finn’s story ends with his tragic death, which leaves his close friends devastated, unmoored, and uncertain how to go on. Jack’s section follows, offering a heartbreaking look at what it’s like to live with grief. Jack works to overcome the anger he feels toward Sylvie, the girlfriend Finn was breaking up with when he died, and Autumn, the girl he was preparing to build his life around (but whom Jack believed wasn’t good enough for Finn). But when Jack sees how Autumn’s grief matches his own, it changes their understanding of one another. Autumn’s chapters trace her life without Finn as readers follow her struggles with mental health and balancing love and loss. Those who have read the earlier book will better connect with and feel for these characters, particularly since they’ll have a more well-rounded impression of Finn. The pain and anger is well written, and the novel highlights the most troublesome aspects of young adulthood: overconfidence sprinkled with heavy insecurities, fear-fueled decisions, bad communication, and brash judgments. Characters are cued white.
A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind. (author’s note, content warning) (Fiction. 14-18)Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2024
ISBN: 9781728276229
Page Count: 416
Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire
Review Posted Online: Jan. 5, 2024
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2024
BOOK REVIEW
There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.
The finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut.
Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is “quirky and odd,” while Finny is “sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him.” But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations.
There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head. (Fiction. 14 & up)Pub Date: April 1, 2013
ISBN: 978-1-4022-7782-5
Page Count: 336
Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire
Review Posted Online: Feb. 12, 2013
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2013
BOOK REVIEW
SEEN & HEARD
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