by Deborah Digges ‧ RELEASE DATE: June 10, 2001
Often moving but highly claustrophobic, this account frequently seems as self-absorbed as Stephen himself.
A lugubrious account of a son’s fall into delinquency and his redemption through pet-rearing, by poet and mother Digges (Fugitive Spring, not reviewed).
Like many children of the 1960s, Digges was determined that her son Stephen would grow up differently than she did. Still in graduate school when the boy began kindergarten, the author was a single mother who provided him with a literate and cosmopolitan home but very little in the way of the traditional family strictures and disciplines that she had known as a child. It was a single motherhood of the sort that we have become quite familiar with in recent years—financially pinched, conventionally unconventional, earnest, and affectionate—but it went suddenly wrong when Stephen turned (at 12) into a monster of self-absorption and violence. In his Boston high school (his mother was by then teaching at Tufts), Stephen started carrying a gun to class, stole cars, threatened his classmates, and refused to work. At home he sat up all night talking on the telephone and continually threatened to run away. Things got so bad that Digges was afraid to drive through town by day, lest the police recognize her car and (looking for Stephen) pull her over for questioning. Shrinks, private schools, and endless recriminations do no good whatsoever, but a tough-minded counselor helped pull the boy (and his mother) a bit closer to reality. The real salvation, however, came from an unusual source: an epileptic bulldog named Buster. Having to care for a cherished animal who was utterly dependent upon him changed the way Stephen looked at the world and himself. He was drawn out of his own rages and loneliness, and eventually he went on to study art in New York. Today he is a working photographer.
Often moving but highly claustrophobic, this account frequently seems as self-absorbed as Stephen himself.Pub Date: June 10, 2001
ISBN: 0-385-50158-7
Page Count: 240
Publisher: Nan A. Talese
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2001
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by Marc Brackett ‧ RELEASE DATE: Sept. 3, 2019
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
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by Jancee Dunn ‧ RELEASE DATE: March 21, 2017
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
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by Jancee Dunn ; illustrated by Scott Nash
BOOK REVIEW
by Jancee Dunn ; illustrated by Scott Nash
BOOK REVIEW
by Cyndi Lauper with Jancee Dunn
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