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BREAKFAST WITH TIFFANY

AN UNCLE’S MEMOIR

Here’s hoping Wintle gets to negotiate his own film rights. “Whatever,” as Tiffany would say, he deserves to make a bundle,...

She’s 13, he’s 40; she’s been given her walking papers from her mother, he’s the uncle there to catch her: they are a modernized odd couple, and the sparks they throw are a glowing pyrotechnic display.

Tiffany is a piece of work, lustrous and intuitive as the art pieces that share her name, then more like the broken glass you step on in a darkened kitchen late at night. Her uncle Eddy, the narrator, is a gay film agent living in Manhattan. His overwhelmed sister calls: please get Tiffany out of here—meaning her catastrophic Connecticut home and social life—and newcomer Wintle, a brick and a loving uncle, agrees. “I was a single, forty-year-old man stuck in intermission . . . my life needed that proverbial shot in the arm. What I would get, though, would prove to be more like electroshock therapy.” Tiffany is a life force with attitude problems, a taste for belly-button jewels and face tackle, who informs Wintle that snorting dust will make you paranoid (heroin makes you mellow, she notes), and can play her uncle’s heart like a bongo and crack it like a coconut; Wintle is an obsessive-compulsive “all-time Control Queen” who will rise to the occasion, bringing to it a delightfully nuanced, impractical, caring, ham-handed, heart-gladdening, inclusive, protective approach. Tiffany behaves like a teenager, strewing grief, angst and love in her wake, while her uncle struggles to meet each new challenge head on, taking cues from his own sad youth and fraught adulthood (the ghosts troop out of his closet one by one) with a gorgeous clarity. The story begins and ends with Tiffany’s freshman year at high school (“This summer I’m going to need to go on the pill,” she says in closing), leaving readers to pray volumes sophomore through senior.

Here’s hoping Wintle gets to negotiate his own film rights. “Whatever,” as Tiffany would say, he deserves to make a bundle, split evenly with his bundle.

Pub Date: July 1, 2005

ISBN: 1-4013-5224-3

Page Count: 320

Publisher: N/A

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2005

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PERMISSION TO FEEL

UNLOCKING THE POWER OF EMOTIONS TO HELP OUR KIDS, OURSELVES, AND OUR SOCIETY THRIVE

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.

We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Celadon Books

Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019

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HOW NOT TO HATE YOUR HUSBAND AFTER KIDS

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...

Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.

Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.

Pub Date: March 21, 2017

ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017

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