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RAISING SECURELY ATTACHED KIDS

USING CONNECTION-FOCUSED PARENTING TO CREATE CONFIDENCE, EMPATHY, AND RESILIENCE

An accessible, enthusiastic manual on how to raise resilient, confident kids.

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Harwood, a therapist, presents a practical guide that sets up close relational bonds as the foundation of parenting success.

A child with a secure attachment to at least one caregiver is more likely to be independent, caring, confident, and resilient, asserts the author in the introduction to her new parenting guide, which approaches its topic in a chatty, friendly, and effervescent style. Harwood breaks down basic concepts of attachment and offers empowering tools for caregivers of kids of any age, while acknowledging the challenges of raising neurodivergent children, or kids who have gone through trauma. She also notes the inevitable gaps that a book by a straight white woman will have when approaching the topic of identity oppression. In discussions reinforced by solid data and actionable advice, Harwood proposes a “high structure, high nurture” environment as the best parenting strategy—one in which conflict is an opportunity for discovery, and the emphasis is on cooperation: “When we create a secure connection with our children,” she writes, “it helps them to trust our capacity to help them through the hard stuff.” She illuminates each chapter with relevant stories from her and other parents’ experiences. The book also includes “Nerd Alert” sections, which delve deep into the research and science behind various concepts. These data-rich sections can be easily skipped by those who aren’t interested, but those who are will find engaging explanations of the prefrontal cortex, internal scripts, Edward Tronick’s well-known 1970s “still face” experiment, and more. Harwood’s boisterous prose invigorates lessons in managing conflict, enforcing structure, navigating difficult topics (such as addiction, racism, and abuse), and developing confidence. The type of parenting that this book espouses won’t come naturally to all readers, and it emphasizes that secure attachment isn’t possible without putting in the work to address one’s own attachment traumas, which she calls “ghost hunting”; the more settled and present caregivers are, she points out, the easier it is for kids to find comfort and connection with them.  

An accessible, enthusiastic manual on how to raise resilient, confident kids.

Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2024

ISBN: 9781632175465

Page Count: 288

Publisher: Sasquatch Books

Review Posted Online: Aug. 26, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2024

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GREENLIGHTS

A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.

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All right, all right, all right: The affable, laconic actor delivers a combination of memoir and self-help book.

“This is an approach book,” writes McConaughey, adding that it contains “philosophies that can be objectively understood, and if you choose, subjectively adopted, by either changing your reality, or changing how you see it. This is a playbook, based on adventures in my life.” Some of those philosophies come in the form of apothegms: “When you can design your own weather, blow in the breeze”; “Simplify, focus, conserve to liberate.” Others come in the form of sometimes rambling stories that never take the shortest route from point A to point B, as when he recounts a dream-spurred, challenging visit to the Malian musician Ali Farka Touré, who offered a significant lesson in how disagreement can be expressed politely and without rancor. Fans of McConaughey will enjoy his memories—which line up squarely with other accounts in Melissa Maerz’s recent oral history, Alright, Alright, Alright—of his debut in Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused, to which he contributed not just that signature phrase, but also a kind of too-cool-for-school hipness that dissolves a bit upon realizing that he’s an older guy on the prowl for teenage girls. McConaughey’s prep to settle into the role of Wooderson involved inhabiting the mind of a dude who digs cars, rock ’n’ roll, and “chicks,” and he ran with it, reminding readers that the film originally had only three scripted scenes for his character. The lesson: “Do one thing well, then another. Once, then once more.” It’s clear that the author is a thoughtful man, even an intellectual of sorts, though without the earnestness of Ethan Hawke or James Franco. Though some of the sentiments are greeting card–ish, this book is entertaining and full of good lessons.

A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.

Pub Date: Oct. 20, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-593-13913-4

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Crown

Review Posted Online: Oct. 27, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2020

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I'M GLAD MY MOM DIED

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

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The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.

In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022

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