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NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST

An unflinching exploration of trust, friendship, and grief.

Awards & Accolades

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  • Kirkus Reviews'
    Best Books Of 2015

"Rule #1: Don't deceive me. Ever.…Rule #INFINITY: There are NO second chances."

Parker Grant doesn't trust surprises—her blindness intensifies them too much. After she finds her father dead of a drug overdose, she's further disoriented when her overprotective aunt and aloof cousin move in and junior year starts. Disorientation becomes dizziness when she meets Jason, who knows "how to talk to a blind girl," and it escalates to panic when she encounters Scott, the ex-boyfriend who betrayed her in eighth grade. She finds stability in running, but her outward equilibrium is maintained only by the gold stars she awards herself for not crying. Fortunately, she has her best friend, Sarah, and a no-nonsense, dark-humored outlook that she parlays into tough-love peer counseling because she can't see people flinch. But with so many changes and memories, is it enough? Lindstrom's immersive portrayal of the dimension Parker's blindness adds to both atypical and everyday angst imbues his protagonist with mature complexity. Like the Army vest covered in slogans or the colorful blindfolds she wears like a "Rorschach test," Parker's snarky bravado is not only for armor, but for input—a way to gauge other people's capacity for honesty, critical for navigating her world. Parker herself does not escape analysis (or sympathy), ultimately confronting her problems through what others reveal.

An unflinching exploration of trust, friendship, and grief. (Fiction. 14 & up)

Pub Date: Dec. 1, 2015

ISBN: 978-0-316-25985-9

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Poppy/Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Sept. 15, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2015

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TRUST FALL

A classic rags-to-riches romantic comedy with irresistible chemistry and heart.

A surprise inheritance thrusts a small-town Nebraska teen into Manhattan’s elite society—and the orbit of a boy who’s determined to prove she doesn’t belong.

Julia Lowell’s life changes overnight when the 80-something man they know as Lou leaves his fortune to her family instead of his New York City relatives. Lou, who lived in a fishing cabin, was a regular customer of the Lowells’ small grocery store and became a family friend. To inherit, they must live in his Upper West Side home for at least six months, and Julia and her twin brother must attend Gardenwood Academy, a Gossip Girl–esque private school. Julia struggles to navigate her rude, privileged classmates—like Damion Rutledge. Unbeknownst to her, Lou—whose real name was Remington—was Damion’s beloved great-uncle. When a teacher assigns Damion to be Julia’s math tutor, he seizes the opportunity to search Uncle Remi’s house, which he believes is his by right, for evidence of the Lowells’ deceit. But as suspicion gives way to genuine feelings, Julia and Damion, who are cued white, question their assumptions about one another. Painter delivers her signature blend of banter, slow-burn chemistry, and emotionally grounded characters. Told in the leads’ alternating points of view, the familiar enemies-to-lovers setup is complicated by Damion’s secret and Julia’s past heartbreak. While the story follows a predictable path and resolution, the central relationship feels earned and heartfelt.

A classic rags-to-riches romantic comedy with irresistible chemistry and heart. (soundtrack) (Romance. 14-18)

Pub Date: Sept. 29, 2026

ISBN: 9798347100217

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: Aug. 3, 2026

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2026

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INDIVISIBLE

An ode to the children of migrants who have been taken away.

A Mexican American boy takes on heavy responsibilities when his family is torn apart.

Mateo’s life is turned upside down the day U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents show up unsuccessfully seeking his Pa at his New York City bodega. The Garcias live in fear until the day both parents are picked up; his Pa is taken to jail and his Ma to a detention center. The adults around Mateo offer support to him and his 7-year-old sister, Sophie, however, he knows he is now responsible for caring for her and the bodega as well as trying to survive junior year—that is, if he wants to fulfill his dream to enter the drama program at the Tisch School of the Arts and become an actor. Mateo’s relationships with his friends Kimmie and Adam (a potential love interest) also suffer repercussions as he keeps his situation a secret. Kimmie is half Korean (her other half is unspecified) and Adam is Italian American; Mateo feels disconnected from them, less American, and with worries they can’t understand. He talks himself out of choosing a safer course of action, a decision that deepens the story. Mateo’s self-awareness and inner monologue at times make him seem older than 16, and, with significant turmoil in the main plot, some side elements feel underdeveloped. Aleman’s narrative joins the ranks of heart-wrenching stories of migrant families who have been separated.

An ode to the children of migrants who have been taken away. (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: May 4, 2021

ISBN: 978-0-7595-5605-8

Page Count: 400

Publisher: Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Feb. 22, 2021

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2021

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