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DIRTBALL

THE DIARIES OF A WORTHLESS SOMEBODY

A manifesto about the need to change, which may leave readers wishing it were as reflective as it is revealing.

Olsen dishes up lukewarm shock-and-awe stories in a memoir of self-discovery.

These loosely connected stories, told by a disillusioned software engineer whose outlook is informed by his outrageous past, begin with a resolution: Olsen is going to turn his life around. His career is stagnant; Anna, the object of his affection, consistently rebuffs his advances; and he’s choked by the fallout of numerous poor life choices. He chronicles an itinerant lifestyle, from San Diego to Milwaukee and back again, while digressing into sometimes lewd, sometimes unbelievable tales of youth steeped in enough liquor and hard drugs to give a contact-high. A grab bag of random episodes includes his being blackout drunk, a dysfunctional relationship with an unfaithful heroin addict, a fistfight with his mother’s abusive boyfriend and unfortunate liaisons with chat room strangers. Any of these could be jumping-off points for the changes Olsen claims to want to make, but instead of hinting at contemplativeness or regret, they come across mostly as boasts. At times, the details suffer from a lack of imagination; early on, a description of Anna reads, “Her long straight brown hair hanged around an adoring gorgeous smile; blissfully covering those blue piercing eyes of hers that could heat an entire ocean.” The parts that might be intriguing on their own—such as Olsen’s misadventures as a 21-year-old in Tijuana or a trip aboard the supposedly haunted Queen Mary—are offset by a passive voice (“An awkward laugh with a very short lifespan from him was then made”) and straining syntax. Though most stories are crass enough to be off-putting, there are moments of tenderness woven in. Olsen’s recollection of his grandfather’s death, and the impact it had on him, is refreshingly vulnerable, a welcome beacon of humanity by the late hour of its arrival.

A manifesto about the need to change, which may leave readers wishing it were as reflective as it is revealing.

Pub Date: Aug. 21, 2013

ISBN: N/A

Page Count: -

Publisher: Dog Ear Publisher

Review Posted Online: April 17, 2014

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THE SILENT PATIENT

Amateurish, with a twist savvy readers will see coming from a mile away.

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A woman accused of shooting her husband six times in the face refuses to speak.

"Alicia Berenson was thirty-three years old when she killed her husband. They had been married for seven years. They were both artists—Alicia was a painter, and Gabriel was a well-known fashion photographer." Michaelides' debut is narrated in the voice of psychotherapist Theo Faber, who applies for a job at the institution where Alicia is incarcerated because he's fascinated with her case and believes he will be able to get her to talk. The narration of the increasingly unrealistic events that follow is interwoven with excerpts from Alicia's diary. Ah, yes, the old interwoven diary trick. When you read Alicia's diary you'll conclude the woman could well have been a novelist instead of a painter because it contains page after page of detailed dialogue, scenes, and conversations quite unlike those in any journal you've ever seen. " 'What's the matter?' 'I can't talk about it on the phone, I need to see you.' 'It's just—I'm not sure I can make it up to Cambridge at the minute.' 'I'll come to you. This afternoon. Okay?' Something in Paul's voice made me agree without thinking about it. He sounded desperate. 'Okay. Are you sure you can't tell me about it now?' 'I'll see you later.' Paul hung up." Wouldn't all this appear in a diary as "Paul wouldn't tell me what was wrong"? An even more improbable entry is the one that pins the tail on the killer. While much of the book is clumsy, contrived, and silly, it is while reading passages of the diary that one may actually find oneself laughing out loud.

Amateurish, with a twist savvy readers will see coming from a mile away.

Pub Date: Feb. 5, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-250-30169-7

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Celadon Books

Review Posted Online: Nov. 3, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2018

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REGRETTING YOU

The emotions run high, the conversations run deep, and the relationships ebb and flow with grace.

When tragedy strikes, a mother and daughter forge a new life.

Morgan felt obligated to marry her high school sweetheart, Chris, when she got pregnant with their daughter, Clara. But she secretly got along much better with Chris’ thoughtful best friend, Jonah, who was dating her sister, Jenny. Now her life as a stay-at-home parent has left her feeling empty but not ungrateful for what she has. Jonah and Jenny eventually broke up, but years later they had a one-night stand and Jenny got pregnant with their son, Elijah. Now Jonah is back in town, engaged to Jenny, and working at the local high school as Clara’s teacher. Clara dreams of being an actress and has a crush on Miller, who plans to go to film school, but her father doesn't approve. It doesn’t help that Miller already has a jealous girlfriend who stalks him via text from college. But Clara and Morgan’s home life changes radically when Chris and Jenny are killed in an accident, revealing long-buried secrets and forcing Morgan to reevaluate the life she chose when early motherhood forced her hand. Feeling betrayed by the adults in her life, Clara marches forward, acting both responsible and rebellious as she navigates her teenage years without her father and her aunt, while Jonah and Morgan's relationship evolves in the wake of the accident. Front-loaded with drama, the story leaves plenty of room for the mother and daughter to unpack their feelings and decide what’s next.

The emotions run high, the conversations run deep, and the relationships ebb and flow with grace.

Pub Date: Dec. 10, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-5420-1642-1

Page Count: 400

Publisher: Montlake Romance

Review Posted Online: Oct. 13, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 1, 2019

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