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A GAME OF GROANS

A SONNET OF SLUSH AND SOOT

A featherweight lampoon that could amuse Martin fans with a sense of humor. More obsessive followers may well go medieval.

A pseudonymous author delivers the inevitable satire of George R.R. Martin’s epic fantasy (now a hit HBO series).

This is an uneven but not disagreeable parody. Anyone unfamiliar with the lush swords-and-sex panorama of Westeros is likely to be lost, though. The book opens with a witty take on “The Others,” as a bespectacled boy wizard, a black-clad cyborg mystic and a pointy-eared science officer debate protocol on the far side of The Wall. Then the book launches into a turn-by-turn journey of the clashes and soap operatic feuds in Easterrabbit, ruled by its grog-loving king “Bobbert Barfonme.” He’s come to the North to recruit his amigo Lord Headcase Barker, over numerous objections. “Tough patooties. You’re my new Foot. Pack up your crap. We’re outta here,” proclaims the king. For all the poo-and-fart jokes that abound, there is some fun to be squeezed out of the source material, not least the torrent of incest jokes made at the expense of the evil Queen Cerevix and her twin brother, Sur Jagweed the “Not-Kingslayer” Sinister. Their brother Tritone is a bit of a waste—merely the tallest man on the continent, with less humor than his pint-sized counterpart in Game of Thrones, while Headcase’s wife Gateway gets too much air time. Across the sea, Lolyta Tornadobutt, Princess of Duckseventually and her brother-of-questionable-sexuality Vladymyr, conspire under the protection of Ivan Drago, ruler of Dork. Thankfully, the book doesn’t attempt to match Martin’s well-known verbosity, with shortcuts like this one from the oath-taking of Juan Nieve: “Ever watched Anymal Housse while sipping on grog, gnawing on a turkey leg, and rubbing a cheese grater across your stomach? It was a lot like that.”

A featherweight lampoon that could amuse Martin fans with a sense of humor. More obsessive followers may well go medieval.

Pub Date: March 27, 2012

ISBN: 978-1-250-01126-8

Page Count: 236

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: April 7, 2012

Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 2012

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THE SHADOW OF WHAT WAS LOST

From the The Licanius Trilogy series , Vol. 1

A promising page-turner from a poised newcomer who’s well worth keeping tabs on.

This doorstopper epic fantasy and trilogy opener was originally self-published in 2014.

The details that give this ingeniously plotted yarn its backbone emerge gradually—and are not always entirely clear. Twenty years ago, a war swept away and annihilated the tyrannical Augurs when their formidable magic inexplicably faltered. Their servants, the Gifted, whose lesser magic derives from Essence (Islington has an irritating habit of capitalizing things), were forcibly constrained to obey the Four Tenets, meaning they can no longer use their magic to cause harm even in self-defense. At a school-cum-sanctuary-cum-prison for the Gifted, three 16-year-old friends, Davian, Wirr, and Asha, face their final tests. Though an excellent student, Davian cannot use Essence and faces a cruel exile. He decides to abscond. Wirr believes Davian’s an Augur whose higher-order magic blocks his ability to channel Essence, and he insists on joining him. Ilseth Tenvar, a seemingly sympathetic Elder, gives Davian a mysterious magic box to guide his progress. The next morning Asha wakes to a nightmare of her own. On the road Davian encounters the strange, scarred Gifted Taeris Sarr, who three years ago saved his life (Davian doesn’t remember the incident) and supposedly was executed for his pains. In the far north an ancient evil stirs, while in a related development, Caeden wakes in a forest to find himself covered in blood and with no memory of anything. So, in time-honored fashion, nobody is what they seem to be, everybody has a secret agenda, and the key players all lack pivotal memories. And while there’s nothing much new here, Islington’s natural storytelling ability provides incessant plot twists and maintains a relentless pace. The characters have well-rounded personalities and don’t make decisions or errors merely to advance the plot, even if they all sound and act the same youngish age.

A promising page-turner from a poised newcomer who’s well worth keeping tabs on.

Pub Date: Nov. 8, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-316-27409-8

Page Count: 704

Publisher: Orbit

Review Posted Online: Oct. 4, 2016

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2016

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A QUEEN IN HIDING

A new series starts off with a bang.

A queen and her young daughter are forced to separate and go into hiding when a corrupt politician tries to take over the kingdom.

Queen Cressa of Weirandale is worried about her 8-year-old daughter, the “princella” Cerúlia. The people of Weirandale worship a water spirit, Nargis, who grants each queen a special gift called a Talent. Cressa herself is able to meddle with memories, for example, and her mother possessed supernatural strategic abilities that served her well in battle. Cerúlia, however, appears to have none, because surely her insistence that she can talk to animals is only her young imagination running wild. When Cerúlia’s many pets warn her about assassins creeping into the royal chambers, the girl is able to save herself and her mother. Cressa uses her Talent, which actually extends to forcing anyone to tell her the truth, to root out traitors among the aristocracy, led by the power-hungry Lord Matwyck. Fearing for her daughter’s life and her own, Cressa takes Cerúlia and flees. Thinking Cerúlia will be safer away from her mother, Cressa takes the girl to a kind peasant family and adjusts their memories so they believe Cerúlia is their adopted daughter. Kozloff’s debut is the first of four Nine Realms books, and Tor plans to publish them over just four months. Luckily, the series opener is a strong start, so readers will be grateful for the short wait before Book 2. Kozloff sets a solid stage with glimpses into other characters and nations while keeping the book together with a clear, propulsive plot.

A new series starts off with a bang.

Pub Date: Jan. 21, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-250-16854-2

Page Count: 496

Publisher: Tor

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2019

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