Franklin N. “Norm” Stein, a scarred teen with acromegaly, starts at a new school where he meets a trio of sisters who are witches and helps them escape the thrall of two vampires.
Tongue-in-cheek humor abounds in this clash of monsters set at a modern high school. Bright, diligent Esme initially falls for hulking Norm despite his outlandish appearance, until preternaturally handsome Zack Kallas arrives with his father and claims the affections of not just Esme, but also her sisters, Katy and Veronica, causing a rift. At the same time, girls begin to go missing, and Esme learns more and more about Kasha, a talking cat who has been a familiar in her family for ages. Teens with a bent toward silliness will be best poised to appreciate the campy humor and fun wordplay of this novel. At times its cleverness overshadows character development, though Norm and Esme are a likable pair. A secondary character who eventually comes out as gay feels stereotypical with his proclamations of "girlfriend" and "fabulous." All of the main characters seem to be white; Norm is Jewish, as is the arch villain, who spouts "Yiddish invective" in the final face-off.
A reworking of some classic stories that will entertain its readers even if it doesn’t stay with them very long. (Fantasy. 13-18)