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THE MEANING OF BIRDS

Frank and accessible, this gritty drama realizes with great compassion and empathy the ways reckoning with loss can manifest.

A teen tries to pick up the pieces after devastating loss.

Jess Perez burns hot. Having the courage at a young age to come out to herself and others as “queer, overly sensitive, overly prone to fists,” Jess anticipates the start of her sophomore year with some trepidation, having to negotiate what she perceives as a threatening environment without the aid of the therapist who’d been helping her process her military father’s death in Afghanistan three years before. But the horizon suddenly brightens when Jess meets Vivi Bouchard—smart, curvy, confident, and gay; the two are instantly attracted and soon become girlfriends. Vivi encourages Jess to develop her copious talents as a visual artist and helps her manage her, at times, uncontrollable anger, seeing Jess how she wishes to be seen: “Interesting. Artistic. Something more than a middle-class, if that, suburban girl”—and they plan for their future at college together. Jess’ world is rocked when Vivi unexpectedly dies, sending her spiraling into grief and rage as she rails against her new persona as “the queer girl with the dead girlfriend.” Told in alternating “then” and “now” chapters, the moving narrative captures well the nonlinear progression of Jess’ grief and emotional growth. The book follows a white default although there is diversity across several dimensions in secondary characters; Jess’ father was half Mexican and (presumably) half white.

Frank and accessible, this gritty drama realizes with great compassion and empathy the ways reckoning with loss can manifest. (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: April 16, 2019

ISBN: 978-0-06-282444-8

Page Count: 368

Publisher: HarperTeen

Review Posted Online: Jan. 7, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 2019

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IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind.

In this companion novel to 2013’s If He Had Been With Me, three characters tell their sides of the story.

Finn’s narrative starts three days before his death. He explores the progress of his unrequited love for best friend Autumn up until the day he finally expresses his feelings. Finn’s story ends with his tragic death, which leaves his close friends devastated, unmoored, and uncertain how to go on. Jack’s section follows, offering a heartbreaking look at what it’s like to live with grief. Jack works to overcome the anger he feels toward Sylvie, the girlfriend Finn was breaking up with when he died, and Autumn, the girl he was preparing to build his life around (but whom Jack believed wasn’t good enough for Finn). But when Jack sees how Autumn’s grief matches his own, it changes their understanding of one another. Autumn’s chapters trace her life without Finn as readers follow her struggles with mental health and balancing love and loss. Those who have read the earlier book will better connect with and feel for these characters, particularly since they’ll have a more well-rounded impression of Finn. The pain and anger is well written, and the novel highlights the most troublesome aspects of young adulthood: overconfidence sprinkled with heavy insecurities, fear-fueled decisions, bad communication, and brash judgments. Characters are cued white.

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind. (author’s note, content warning) (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2024

ISBN: 9781728276229

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Jan. 5, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2024

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IF HE HAD BEEN WITH ME

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.

The finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut.

Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is “quirky and odd,” while Finny is “sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him.” But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations.

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.   (Fiction. 14 & up)

Pub Date: April 1, 2013

ISBN: 978-1-4022-7782-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Feb. 12, 2013

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2013

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