WHAT I CARRY

An exceptional addition to the coming-of-age canon.

At 17, Muiriel needs to make it through one more placement, then she will age out of foster care and into state-sanctioned self-sufficiency.

Muir is White, woke, and keenly aware that her experience of not knowing any family from birth isn’t representative of most foster kids. She meticulously follows the wisdom of her hero and namesake, John Muir, and keeps her baggage light. However, it quickly becomes apparent that her new temporary home will challenge her resolute independence. The island forest beckons to her. Francine, her latest foster mother, is insightful and socially aware. Kira, a heavily tattooed artist, is brimming with best friend potential. And then there’s Sean, the beautiful boy who understands that the world can be terrible and wonderful at the same time. As these people show up for Muir, the survival strategy she clings to—don’t get attached—diminishes in validity. This is terrifying; Muir has only ever learned to depend on herself. The trauma she contends with is not perpetrated by a villain; it is the slow boil of a childhood in which inconsistency has been the only constant. The power of relationship—both those experienced and those denied—is expertly explored throughout this novel with nuance and humanity. The central characters are immensely likable, creating a compelling read sure to leave an imprint. Most main characters are White; Kira is Japanese American.

An exceptional addition to the coming-of-age canon. (author’s note) (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Jan. 21, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-553-53771-0

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Oct. 7, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 1, 2019

IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind.

In this companion novel to 2013’s If He Had Been With Me, three characters tell their sides of the story.

Finn’s narrative starts three days before his death. He explores the progress of his unrequited love for best friend Autumn up until the day he finally expresses his feelings. Finn’s story ends with his tragic death, which leaves his close friends devastated, unmoored, and uncertain how to go on. Jack’s section follows, offering a heartbreaking look at what it’s like to live with grief. Jack works to overcome the anger he feels toward Sylvie, the girlfriend Finn was breaking up with when he died, and Autumn, the girl he was preparing to build his life around (but whom Jack believed wasn’t good enough for Finn). But when Jack sees how Autumn’s grief matches his own, it changes their understanding of one another. Autumn’s chapters trace her life without Finn as readers follow her struggles with mental health and balancing love and loss. Those who have read the earlier book will better connect with and feel for these characters, particularly since they’ll have a more well-rounded impression of Finn. The pain and anger is well written, and the novel highlights the most troublesome aspects of young adulthood: overconfidence sprinkled with heavy insecurities, fear-fueled decisions, bad communication, and brash judgments. Characters are cued white.

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind. (author’s note, content warning) (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2024

ISBN: 9781728276229

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Jan. 5, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2024

IF HE HAD BEEN WITH ME

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.

The finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut.

Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is “quirky and odd,” while Finny is “sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him.” But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations.

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.   (Fiction. 14 & up)

Pub Date: April 1, 2013

ISBN: 978-1-4022-7782-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Feb. 12, 2013

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2013

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