A fresh, insightful take on one of our slipperiest emotions that offers readers workable pathways forward.
An accessible framework for understanding shame—both within oneself and within relationships.
This book begins with some personal comments from authors Fern (a trauma and relationship expert and psychotherapist) and Cooley (a professional restorative justice facilitator and diversity awareness trainer) explaining where the ideas for the titular “Shame Triangle” originated. Fern recalls an anecdote from her personal life in which her “competing needs” reminded her of how often she thinks about herself in terms of “parts” that seem to have their own “concerns, priorities and desires.” What follows is a breakdown of the authors’ views on the key components of shame and its impact on people and relationships. They posit that shame is viewable through a triangular framework based on psychiatrist Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle, which includes the roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer. Fern and Cooley’s Shame Triangle, however, includes slightly different roles, as it applies to both internal and external conflicts; these roles are the Inner Critic, Shame, and Escaper. The authors detail the strategies and behavioral impacts of each part of the triangle: Where do they come from? Why do they exist? How can we begin to address them? Each of these ideas is effectively supported by humanizing personal anecdotes and peer-reviewed academic literature. Fern and Cooley have prepared this book with accessibility in mind, seeking to ensure that even readers with limited knowledge of psychology and medicine will be able to use these strategies to start the journey toward self-understanding. They make it clear that the goal is not necessarily to change the self, but rather to work with natural inclinations to find healthier ways to resolve conflicts, both within and outside the mind. This book will be appreciated by anyone searching for new ways of understanding shame and trauma, especially for the purpose of enhancing mental stability and relationships.
A fresh, insightful take on one of our slipperiest emotions that offers readers workable pathways forward.Pub Date: Oct. 31, 2025
ISBN: 9781990869709
Page Count: 336
Publisher: Thornapple Press
Review Posted Online: Sept. 25, 2025
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2025
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...
A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.
The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1
Page Count: 512
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011
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These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.
A helpful guide to working effectively with people from other cultures.
“The sad truth is that the vast majority of managers who conduct business internationally have little understanding about how culture is impacting their work,” writes Meyer, a professor at INSEAD, an international business school. Yet they face a wider array of work styles than ever before in dealing with clients, suppliers and colleagues from around the world. When is it best to speak or stay quiet? What is the role of the leader in the room? When working with foreign business people, failing to take cultural differences into account can lead to frustration, misunderstanding or worse. Based on research and her experiences teaching cross-cultural behaviors to executive students, the author examines a handful of key areas. Among others, they include communicating (Anglo-Saxons are explicit; Asians communicate implicitly, requiring listeners to read between the lines), developing a sense of trust (Brazilians do it over long lunches), and decision-making (Germans rely on consensus, Americans on one decider). In each area, the author provides a “culture map scale” that positions behaviors in more than 20 countries along a continuum, allowing readers to anticipate the preferences of individuals from a particular country: Do they like direct or indirect negative feedback? Are they rigid or flexible regarding deadlines? Do they favor verbal or written commitments? And so on. Meyer discusses managers who have faced perplexing situations, such as knowledgeable team members who fail to speak up in meetings or Indians who offer a puzzling half-shake, half-nod of the head. Cultural differences—not personality quirks—are the motivating factors behind many behavioral styles. Depending on our cultures, we understand the world in a particular way, find certain arguments persuasive or lacking merit, and consider some ways of making decisions or measuring time natural and others quite strange.
These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.Pub Date: May 27, 2014
ISBN: 978-1-61039-250-1
Page Count: 288
Publisher: PublicAffairs
Review Posted Online: April 15, 2014
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2014
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