A fresh, insightful take on one of our slipperiest emotions that offers readers workable pathways forward.
An accessible framework for understanding shame—both within oneself and within relationships.
This book begins with some personal comments from authors Fern (a trauma and relationship expert and psychotherapist) and Cooley (a professional restorative justice facilitator and diversity awareness trainer) explaining where the ideas for the titular “Shame Triangle” originated. Fern recalls an anecdote from her personal life in which her “competing needs” reminded her of how often she thinks about herself in terms of “parts” that seem to have their own “concerns, priorities and desires.” What follows is a breakdown of the authors’ views on the key components of shame and its impact on people and relationships. They posit that shame is viewable through a triangular framework based on psychiatrist Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle, which includes the roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer. Fern and Cooley’s Shame Triangle, however, includes slightly different roles, as it applies to both internal and external conflicts; these roles are the Inner Critic, Shame, and Escaper. The authors detail the strategies and behavioral impacts of each part of the triangle: Where do they come from? Why do they exist? How can we begin to address them? Each of these ideas is effectively supported by humanizing personal anecdotes and peer-reviewed academic literature. Fern and Cooley have prepared this book with accessibility in mind, seeking to ensure that even readers with limited knowledge of psychology and medicine will be able to use these strategies to start the journey toward self-understanding. They make it clear that the goal is not necessarily to change the self, but rather to work with natural inclinations to find healthier ways to resolve conflicts, both within and outside the mind. This book will be appreciated by anyone searching for new ways of understanding shame and trauma, especially for the purpose of enhancing mental stability and relationships.
A fresh, insightful take on one of our slipperiest emotions that offers readers workable pathways forward.Pub Date: Oct. 31, 2025
ISBN: 9781990869709
Page Count: 336
Publisher: Thornapple Press
Review Posted Online: Sept. 25, 2025
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2025
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...
A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.
The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1
Page Count: 512
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011
BOOK REVIEW
IN THE NEWS
IN THE NEWS
A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.
All right, all right, all right: The affable, laconic actor delivers a combination of memoir and self-help book.
“This is an approach book,” writes McConaughey, adding that it contains “philosophies that can be objectively understood, and if you choose, subjectively adopted, by either changing your reality, or changing how you see it. This is a playbook, based on adventures in my life.” Some of those philosophies come in the form of apothegms: “When you can design your own weather, blow in the breeze”; “Simplify, focus, conserve to liberate.” Others come in the form of sometimes rambling stories that never take the shortest route from point A to point B, as when he recounts a dream-spurred, challenging visit to the Malian musician Ali Farka Touré, who offered a significant lesson in how disagreement can be expressed politely and without rancor. Fans of McConaughey will enjoy his memories—which line up squarely with other accounts in Melissa Maerz’s recent oral history, Alright, Alright, Alright—of his debut in Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused, to which he contributed not just that signature phrase, but also a kind of too-cool-for-school hipness that dissolves a bit upon realizing that he’s an older guy on the prowl for teenage girls. McConaughey’s prep to settle into the role of Wooderson involved inhabiting the mind of a dude who digs cars, rock ’n’ roll, and “chicks,” and he ran with it, reminding readers that the film originally had only three scripted scenes for his character. The lesson: “Do one thing well, then another. Once, then once more.” It’s clear that the author is a thoughtful man, even an intellectual of sorts, though without the earnestness of Ethan Hawke or James Franco. Though some of the sentiments are greeting card–ish, this book is entertaining and full of good lessons.
A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.Pub Date: Oct. 20, 2020
ISBN: 978-0-593-13913-4
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Crown
Review Posted Online: Oct. 27, 2020
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2020
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
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