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READING PEOPLE

HOW TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE AND PREDICT THEIR BEHAVIOR--ANYTIME, ANYPLACE

Forget the inflated claims that follow from “predict— in the subtitle; this is a leading jury consultant’s often valuable guide on how to understand people from the host of nonverbal signs they present. With the help of lawyer Mazzarella, Dimitrius, who for more than 14 years has helped legal teams pick juries in such trials as that of O.J. Simpson and the McMartin Preschool case, tells readers “what to look and listen for, having the curiosity and patience to garner the necessary information, and understanding how to recognize the patterns of a person’s appearance, body language, voice and conduct.” The key word here is “patterns”; Dimitrius isn—t interested in “Eureka!” revelations coming from a single sign or behavioral mode. Rather, she demonstrates how one can learn a great deal about people from a combination of their facial expressions and body language, grooming and dress, home and workplace “props” (e.g. what kind of photos or art they have in their offices, and in what kind of frames), among other indications of their character. And she insists on a due regard for intuition and context. Concerning the latter, in a “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” approach, she wisely advises readers not to overinterpret, recalling a Rodney King trial juror who impelled Dimitrius into speculative overdrive by wearing black gloves into court each day. “Was she making a racial statement? Were the gloves a political commentary? Did they have some other unknown significance?” Finally asked by Dimitrius about the gloves after the trial ended, the juror responded, “It was so cold inside that courtroom!” While quite comprehensive, Dimitrius does scant a few nonverbal forms of communication, such as posture, and is occasionally guilty of simplistic writing and bad grammar. But these flaws are overwhelmed the amount of practical good advice for discerningly “reading” others and becoming more aware of the myriad nonverbal messages one conveys. (Author tour)

Pub Date: June 1, 1998

ISBN: 0-375-50146-0

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 1, 1998

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THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.

Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018

ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5

Page Count: 580

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018

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UNTAMED

Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.

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More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom.

In her third book, Doyle (Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. Emblematically arranged into three sections—“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”—the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Still, there was trouble: Straining an already troubled marriage was her husband’s infidelity, which eventually led to life-altering choices and the discovery of a love she’d never experienced before. Throughout the book, Doyle remains open and candid, whether she’s admitting to rigging a high school homecoming court election or denouncing the doting perfectionism of “cream cheese parenting,” which is about “giving your children the best of everything.” The author’s fears and concerns are often mirrored by real-world issues: gender roles and bias, white privilege, racism, and religion-fueled homophobia and hypocrisy. Some stories merely skim the surface of larger issues, but Doyle revisits them in later sections and digs deeper, using friends and familial references to personify their impact on her life, both past and present. Shorter pieces, some only a page in length, manage to effectively translate an emotional gut punch, as when Doyle’s therapist called her blooming extramarital lesbian love a “dangerous distraction.” Ultimately, the narrative is an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency.

Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.

Pub Date: March 10, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-9848-0125-8

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Dial Books

Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020

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