Advice for parents on handling toddlers to pre-tweens.
Faber—the daughter of Adele Faber, the author of the bestselling How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (1980)—and her good friend King combine their years of experience as mothers with new research on child-rearing to offer a useful guide for parents and other adults regarding the 2-to-7 age group. With a format similar to the original book, the authors begin with the basics: acknowledging a child’s feelings through words, writing, and artwork; using play, offering choices, and patience, among other methods, to enlist cooperation; instilling discipline and resolving conflicts without the use of threats, character attacks, or physical punishment. In the second section, the authors move on to specific issues: eating and food battles, brushing teeth, shopping with young children, name-calling, hitting and other physically aggressive behavior, getting children to sleep, navigating anger, interacting with pets, how to handle lying, and a host of other common and difficult scenarios adults face on a daily basis. Faber and King not only offer their own lives as examples; they also include numerous scenarios from other parents who have used the tactics presented in the authors’ group workshops. For those in need of a quick rehash of each chapter, short cartoons summarize each section. Although the information is mostly common-sense, the logical presentation enables readers to quickly understand why one method works and another method doesn’t, making it easy for the adult to incorporate subtle changes into his/her behavior, which in turn creates profound differences in the child. Any new parent, teacher, or day care operator will benefit from reading this helpful book. Adele Faber provides the foreword.
Accessible, highly effective methods for raising well-behaved children.Pub Date: Jan. 10, 2017
ISBN: 978-1-5011-3165-3
Page Count: 416
Publisher: Scribner
Review Posted Online: Nov. 1, 2016
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2016
Categories: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS | PSYCHOLOGY | SELF-HELP
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The authors have created a sort of anti-Book of Virtues in this encyclopedic compendium of the ways and means of power.
Everyone wants power and everyone is in a constant duplicitous game to gain more power at the expense of others, according to Greene, a screenwriter and former editor at Esquire (Elffers, a book packager, designed the volume, with its attractive marginalia). We live today as courtiers once did in royal courts: we must appear civil while attempting to crush all those around us. This power game can be played well or poorly, and in these 48 laws culled from the history and wisdom of the world’s greatest power players are the rules that must be followed to win. These laws boil down to being as ruthless, selfish, manipulative, and deceitful as possible. Each law, however, gets its own chapter: “Conceal Your Intentions,” “Always Say Less Than Necessary,” “Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy,” and so on. Each chapter is conveniently broken down into sections on what happened to those who transgressed or observed the particular law, the key elements in this law, and ways to defensively reverse this law when it’s used against you. Quotations in the margins amplify the lesson being taught. While compelling in the way an auto accident might be, the book is simply nonsense. Rules often contradict each other. We are told, for instance, to “be conspicuous at all cost,” then told to “behave like others.” More seriously, Greene never really defines “power,” and he merely asserts, rather than offers evidence for, the Hobbesian world of all against all in which he insists we live. The world may be like this at times, but often it isn’t. To ask why this is so would be a far more useful project.
If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.Pub Date: Sept. 1, 1998
ISBN: 0-670-88146-5
Page Count: 430
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 1998
Categories: GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | PHILOSOPHY & RELIGION | PSYCHOLOGY | HISTORICAL & MILITARY
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Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
Categories: PSYCHOLOGY | SELF-HELP
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