A personal, conversational guide to successfully working through loss.

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OPEN THE MIND HEAL THE HEART

A self-help book that explores the many different causes and types of grieving.

Cappello (Soul Exercises for the Open Mind, 2015, etc.) explores various manifestations of grief in this study—from feeling like a victim to bullying others to addiction and depression. Loss isn’t always accidental or shocking, the author points out, and it’s sometimes self-inflicted, but grief can still set in, all the same. He recognizes the universal need for coping practices that can help people to avoid becoming stuck in a cycle of despair. The book prominently notes that calling on virtues, such as compassion and empathy, can help one push through stages of the grieving process, including anger and denial. Cappello also stresses the importance of other virtues, such as steadfastness, thrift, gratitude, reliability, and chastity, which he says can help build one’s self-worth. The book is divided into two parts, with the first looking at grief from a broad perspective and the second exploring specific types of grieving and related healing practices. Throughout, the author relays illustrative stories and anecdotes about his clients as a psychic medium. From its very first pages, this guide effectively reinforces the idea that one shouldn’t pass judgment on other people’s grief—a refreshing approach that avoids normative statements about how to cope with loss. In all, this is a unique guide that provides useful strategies for emotional growth after a loved one’s death. Interestingly, the author uses the first letters of each chapter title to create an acronym (spelling out “HEAL THE HEART”), with each chapter addressing an important element of recovery (“Healing Requires Making a Decision,” “Expressing Gratitude,” “Adaptability,” and so on). The affirmations (such as “I deserve to be happy and live a fulfilled life”) and practical guidance at the end of each chapter make this book a particularly powerful coping tool.

A personal, conversational guide to successfully working through loss.

Pub Date: Nov. 4, 2016

ISBN: 978-1-5043-6268-9

Page Count: 193

Publisher: BalboaPress

Review Posted Online: Feb. 14, 2017

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An eye-opening glimpse into the attempted self-unmaking of one of Hollywood’s most recognizable talents.

OPEN BOOK

The debut memoir from the pop and fashion star.

Early on, Simpson describes the book she didn’t write: “a motivational manual telling you how to live your best life.” Though having committed to the lucrative deal years before, she “walked away,” fearing any sort of self-help advice she might give would be hypocritical. Outwardly, Simpson was at the peak of her success, with her fashion line generating “one billion dollars in annual sales.” However, anxiety was getting the better of her, and she admits she’d become a “feelings addict,” just needing “enough noise to distract me from the pain I’d been avoiding since childhood. The demons of traumatic abuse that refused to let me sleep at night—Tylenol PM at age twelve, red wine and Ambien as a grown, scared woman. Those same demons who perched on my shoulder, and when they saw a man as dark as them, leaned in to my ear to whisper, ‘Just give him your light. See if it saves him…’ ” On Halloween 2017, Simpson hit rock bottom, and, with the intervention of her devoted friends and husband, began to address her addictions and underlying fears. In this readable but overlong narrative, the author traces her childhood as a Baptist preacher’s daughter moving 18 times before she “hit fifth grade,” and follows her remarkable rise to fame as a singer. She reveals the psychological trauma resulting from years of sexual abuse by a family friend, experiences that drew her repeatedly into bad relationships with men, most publicly with ex-husband Nick Lachey. Admitting that she was attracted to the validating power of an audience, Simpson analyzes how her failings and triumphs have enabled her to take control of her life, even as she was hounded by the press and various music and movie executives about her weight. Simpson’s memoir contains plenty of personal and professional moments for fans to savor.

An eye-opening glimpse into the attempted self-unmaking of one of Hollywood’s most recognizable talents.

Pub Date: Feb. 4, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-06-289996-5

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: Feb. 16, 2020

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A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.

THE ART OF SOLITUDE

A teacher and scholar of Buddhism offers a formally varied account of the available rewards of solitude.

“As Mother Ayahuasca takes me in her arms, I realize that last night I vomited up my attachment to Buddhism. In passing out, I died. In coming to, I was, so to speak, reborn. I no longer have to fight these battles, I repeat to myself. I am no longer a combatant in the dharma wars. It feels as if the course of my life has shifted onto another vector, like a train shunted off its familiar track onto a new trajectory.” Readers of Batchelor’s previous books (Secular Buddhism: Imagining the Dharma in an Uncertain World, 2017, etc.) will recognize in this passage the culmination of his decadeslong shift away from the religious commitments of Buddhism toward an ecumenical and homegrown philosophy of life. Writing in a variety of modes—memoir, history, collage, essay, biography, and meditation instruction—the author doesn’t argue for his approach to solitude as much as offer it for contemplation. Essentially, Batchelor implies that if you read what Buddha said here and what Montaigne said there, and if you consider something the author has noticed, and if you reflect on your own experience, you have the possibility to improve the quality of your life. For introspective readers, it’s easy to hear in this approach a direct response to Pascal’s claim that “all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Batchelor wants to relieve us of this inability by offering his example of how to do just that. “Solitude is an art. Mental training is needed to refine and stabilize it,” he writes. “When you practice solitude, you dedicate yourself to the care of the soul.” Whatever a soul is, the author goes a long way toward soothing it.

A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.

Pub Date: Feb. 18, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-300-25093-0

Page Count: 200

Publisher: Yale Univ.

Review Posted Online: Nov. 25, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2019

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