By telling the untold, these essays illuminate and help normalize reproductive experiences outside the norm.
Seventeen short essays explore nonstereotypical experiences of pregnancy, childbirth, and child-raising, including the choice to be child-free.
In January 2014, the Sea Change Program (“a nonprofit organization committed to a world that upholds the dignity and humanity of all people as they move through their reproductive lives”) advertised on Twitter and Facebook for personal stories about stigmatized reproductive experiences. (The editors note that their first submissions were all “from ciswomen,” but after further outreach, “we are glad to have included experiences from straight, queer, trans, and intersex people.”) Because stigmas thrive in an atmosphere of silence, the editors aim to publish stories that usually go untold, even to family and friends. The personal essays discuss topics that include egg donation, remaining childless, open adoption, abortion, and parenting while trans. The stories are often wrenching, whether it’s the panic of a young girl (as young as 13) discovering she’s pregnant or grief over being unable to conceive. In “If,” a particularly well-written and moving essay by Susan Ito, her life-threatening pre-eclampsia requires abortion of a wanted baby. In a heartbreaking image, after the injection, she puts her hands on her stomach, where not long ago, she’d felt her baby kick: He “jumped against my hand once. He leaped through the space into the darkness and then was gone. All gone.” Questions of identity plague several writers, like the young woman whose baby was adopted; she asks, “[B]ut am I really a mother?” Other common experiences include dealing with uncaring or quickly absent birth fathers and family members who may be unsupportive: “My aunt asked me why I had been gardening the day of the miscarriage, as though my pulling weeds had somehow caused the babies to dislodge.” Most contributions are from the well-educated and accomplished, mirroring the editors’ circles of book club, Facebook, and Twitter friends, but several are from those who’ve faced poverty and prejudice.
By telling the untold, these essays illuminate and help normalize reproductive experiences outside the norm.Pub Date: Oct. 22, 2014
ISBN: 978-1500248512
Page Count: 210
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: June 26, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 1, 2015
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
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