Cleareyed and inspirational prescriptions for the chronically ill seeking love.

Aches, Pains, and Love


A Canadian life coach with chronic health issues offers personal stories and advice on handling dating and relationships in this self-help guide.

It took Lynne until her late 30s to get a better grasp on dating and relationships in the context of her “officially diagnosed conditions,” which include vulvodynia, or what she refers to as “pain in my undercarriage.” Previously, she would suffer through sex and regularly push beyond her limits, which only made her condition worse. In this guide, she shares her hard-earned wisdom, stressing that it’s critical to establish a “personal foundation,” or “the rules of your life that ensure you feel safe, comfortable, relaxed, healthy, happy, and rested.” She then discusses dealing with first dates (research the meeting place to anticipate physical challenges, etc.), the third date (where sex is classically expected, thus likely to require at least a conversation about your condition), sex itself (consider “your definition of sex”), rejection (don’t take it personally; reject those who don’t fit foundation parameters), and ongoing relationships (expression of emotions and open communication essential). She spends the last 50 pages of her book addressing partners of the chronically ill, putting herself also in this category (an ex had neck pain) and advising readers to take care of their own physical/mental health and recognize that breakups will happen (detailing some of her own). Overall, however, Lynne emphasizes hope in finding love and embracing one’s own life and purpose. In this debut book, Lynne’s powerful first-person testimony should make her highly relatable to her target readers and lends particular authority to her array of practical, helpful tips. While she doesn’t delve too much into the specifics of her own or other chronic conditions, she gets real about what those with lifelong pain must consider, including whether open relationships are an option and, as one of the subheads puts it, when to “Postpone, Simplify, Delegate, Eliminate.” Alongside this, Lynne delivers plenty of advice actually applicable to anyone navigating the relationship/dating scene, from the necessities of sexually transmitted disease testing to the motivational message of loving one’s self first.

Cleareyed and inspirational prescriptions for the chronically ill seeking love. 

Pub Date: Feb. 10, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-9949935-0-2

Page Count: 388

Publisher: Moppet Press

Review Posted Online: May 25, 2016

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Stricter than, say, Bergen Evans or W3 ("disinterested" means impartial — period), Strunk is in the last analysis...



Privately published by Strunk of Cornell in 1918 and revised by his student E. B. White in 1959, that "little book" is back again with more White updatings.

Stricter than, say, Bergen Evans or W3 ("disinterested" means impartial — period), Strunk is in the last analysis (whoops — "A bankrupt expression") a unique guide (which means "without like or equal").

Pub Date: May 15, 1972

ISBN: 0205632645

Page Count: 105

Publisher: Macmillan

Review Posted Online: Oct. 28, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 1972

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From the national correspondent for PBS's MacNeil-Lehrer Newshour: a moving memoir of her youth in the Deep South and her role in desegregating the Univ. of Georgia. The eldest daughter of an army chaplain, Hunter-Gault was born in what she calls the ``first of many places that I would call `my place' ''—the small village of Due West, tucked away in a remote little corner of South Carolina. While her father served in Korea, Hunter-Gault and her mother moved first to Covington, Georgia, and then to Atlanta. In ``L.A.'' (lovely Atlanta), surrounded by her loving family and a close-knit black community, the author enjoyed a happy childhood participating in activities at church and at school, where her intellectual and leadership abilities soon were noticed by both faculty and peers. In high school, Hunter-Gault found herself studying the ``comic-strip character Brenda Starr as I might have studied a journalism textbook, had there been one.'' Determined to be a journalist, she applied to several colleges—all outside of Georgia, for ``to discourage the possibility that a black student would even think of applying to one of those white schools, the state provided money for black students'' to study out of state. Accepted at Michigan's Wayne State, the author was encouraged by local civil-rights leaders to apply, along with another classmate, to the Univ. of Georgia as well. Her application became a test of changing racial attitudes, as well as of the growing strength of the civil-rights movement in the South, and Gault became a national figure as she braved an onslaught of hostilities and harassment to become the first black woman to attend the university. A remarkably generous, fair-minded account of overcoming some of the biggest, and most intractable, obstacles ever deployed by southern racists. (Photographs—not seen.)

Pub Date: Nov. 1, 1992

ISBN: 0-374-17563-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Review Posted Online: May 20, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 1992

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