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A SEMI-DEFINITIVE LIST OF WORST NIGHTMARES

A fresh and compelling look at mental illness.

In some ways, fear can keep you safe, but for the Solar family, fear is what keeps them from fully living.

When Esther Solar meets Jonah Smallwood at a bus stop, he doesn’t recognize her at first. They were 8 the last time they saw each other. This was before Esther’s brother, Eugene, became pathologically frightened of the dark, before her father retreated to the basement, and before her mother became addicted to gambling and superstition. Together, the white girl and the black boy confront Esther’s list of fears one by one in the hopes of attracting Death, otherwise known as Jack Horowitz, and releasing her family from the curse she believes dooms her family to death by fear. What Esther doesn’t know is that Jonah struggles with his own kind of curse. It’s a bewitching book about the love shared with family, damaged and all, and the multitude of ways in which mental illness manifests in daily life. Sutherland’s fertile imagination makes this book a deep dive into the intricacies of family, friends, and personal history. The characters are fully distinct and genuine, and the dips into a historical narrative lend an essential veritas to the story. By combining the harsh experience of severe mental illness with a light magical touch, the author creates a space for readers to gain new perspective on what it's like to live with real demons. Resources on mental illness and an urgent exhortation that there's no shame in seeking help follow. 

A fresh and compelling look at mental illness. (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Sept. 5, 2017

ISBN: 978-0-399-54659-4

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Putnam

Review Posted Online: July 16, 2017

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 1, 2017

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IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind.

In this companion novel to 2013’s If He Had Been With Me, three characters tell their sides of the story.

Finn’s narrative starts three days before his death. He explores the progress of his unrequited love for best friend Autumn up until the day he finally expresses his feelings. Finn’s story ends with his tragic death, which leaves his close friends devastated, unmoored, and uncertain how to go on. Jack’s section follows, offering a heartbreaking look at what it’s like to live with grief. Jack works to overcome the anger he feels toward Sylvie, the girlfriend Finn was breaking up with when he died, and Autumn, the girl he was preparing to build his life around (but whom Jack believed wasn’t good enough for Finn). But when Jack sees how Autumn’s grief matches his own, it changes their understanding of one another. Autumn’s chapters trace her life without Finn as readers follow her struggles with mental health and balancing love and loss. Those who have read the earlier book will better connect with and feel for these characters, particularly since they’ll have a more well-rounded impression of Finn. The pain and anger is well written, and the novel highlights the most troublesome aspects of young adulthood: overconfidence sprinkled with heavy insecurities, fear-fueled decisions, bad communication, and brash judgments. Characters are cued white.

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind. (author’s note, content warning) (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2024

ISBN: 9781728276229

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Jan. 5, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2024

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IF HE HAD BEEN WITH ME

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.

The finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut.

Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is “quirky and odd,” while Finny is “sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him.” But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations.

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.   (Fiction. 14 & up)

Pub Date: April 1, 2013

ISBN: 978-1-4022-7782-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Feb. 12, 2013

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2013

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