A well-structured, encouraging book for anyone troubled by domestic violence.
A licensed mental health counselor explodes myths and offers practical advice regarding abusive relationships.
Debut author Streyffeler has a private counseling practice in Fort Myers, Florida, and has been providing therapy for 25 years. In a preface, she recalls persuading an upper-middle-class client that her husband’s behavior was indeed domestic violence: “That’s not possible!” the woman replied; she assumed that abused wives “live in trailer parks and their husbands wear ‘wifebeater shirts.’ ” Starting with this stereotype, Streyffeler systematically counters many common misconceptions about domestic violence: “Abuse is a pattern of behavior. It is not an isolated incident or event. It does not have to be physical.” Emotional and psychological violence are just as damaging, she argues. Abuse often coexists with drug and alcohol problems or mental health issues, and Streyffeler points out that abusive partners may also destroy property or use sex in a manipulative way. Much of the book is devoted to short case studies, based on fictionalized composites of Streyffeler’s clients, and the characters generally have alliterative names to make them memorable. For instance, Ishmael allows Isabel to quit work once she gets pregnant—a calculating move to cut her off from her friends. Charlie tells Charlene that if she leaves him, he’ll tell their son that “Mommy is breaking up the family.” Often, abusive situations are simply a matter of power and control, the author explains. She offers a variety of examples to ensure that many readers will find something that speaks to their own experience, and a thorough list of reasons why people stay in abusive relationships will enlighten concerned loved ones. A chapter on safety planning is particularly valuable; in it, she urges readers to keep a bag packed with important documents in case they need to leave quickly. The author ends with her own story of starting over after leaving an abusive husband—a personal stake that anchors this information-heavy work.
A well-structured, encouraging book for anyone troubled by domestic violence.Pub Date: Oct. 20, 2017
ISBN: 978-1-5043-8823-8
Page Count: 133
Publisher: BalboaPress
Review Posted Online: April 6, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 15, 2018
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A straightforward tale of kindness and paying it forward in 1980s New York.
When advertising executive Schroff answered a child’s request for spare change by inviting him for lunch, she did not expect the encounter to grow into a friendship that would endure into his adulthood. The author recounts how she and Maurice, a promising boy from a drug-addicted family, learned to trust each other. Schroff acknowledges risks—including the possibility of her actions being misconstrued and the tension of crossing socio-economic divides—but does not dwell on the complexities of homelessness or the philosophical problems of altruism. She does not question whether public recognition is beneficial, or whether it is sufficient for the recipient to realize the extent of what has been done. With the assistance of People human-interest writer Tresniowski (Tiger Virtues, 2005, etc.), Schroff adheres to a personal narrative that traces her troubled relationship with her father, her meetings with Maurice and his background, all while avoiding direct parallels, noting that their childhoods differed in severity even if they shared similar emotional voids. With feel-good dramatizations, the story seldom transcends the message that reaching out makes a difference. It is framed in simple terms, from attributing the first meeting to “two people with complicated pasts and fragile dreams” that were “somehow meant to be friends” to the conclusion that love is a driving force. Admirably, Schroff notes that she did not seek a role as a “substitute parent,” and she does not judge Maurice’s mother for her lifestyle. That both main figures experience a few setbacks yet eventually survive is never in question; the story fittingly concludes with an epilogue by Maurice. For readers seeking an uplifting reminder that small gestures matter.
Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-1-4516-4251-3
Page Count: 288
Publisher: Howard Books/Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: July 26, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2011
BOOK REVIEW
A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.
Ruminations and reminiscences of an author—now in his 70s—about fatherhood, writing, and death.
O’Brien (July, July, 2002, etc.), who achieved considerable literary fame with both Going After Cacciato (1978) and The Things They Carried (1990), returns with an eclectic assembly of pieces that grow increasingly valedictory as the idea of mortality creeps in. (The title comes from the author’s uncertainty about his ability to assemble these pieces in a single volume.) He begins and ends with a letter: The initial one is to his first son (from 2003); the terminal one, to his two sons, both of whom are now teens (the present). Throughout the book, there are a number of recurring sections: “Home School” (lessons for his sons to accomplish), “The Magic Show” (about his long interest in magic), and “Pride” (about his feelings for his sons’ accomplishments). O’Brien also writes often about his own father. One literary figure emerges as almost a member of the family: Ernest Hemingway. The author loves Hemingway’s work (except when he doesn’t) and often gives his sons some of Papa’s most celebrated stories to read and think and write about. Near the end is a kind of stand-alone essay about Hemingway’s writings about war and death, which O’Brien realizes is Hemingway’s real subject. Other celebrated literary figures pop up in the text, including Elizabeth Bishop, Andrew Marvell, George Orwell, and Flannery O’Connor. Although O’Brien’s strong anti-war feelings are prominent throughout, his principal interest is fatherhood—specifically, at becoming a father later in his life and realizing that he will miss so much of his sons’ lives. He includes touching and amusing stories about his toddler sons, about the sadness he felt when his older son became a teen and began to distance himself, and about his anguish when his sons failed at something.
A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.Pub Date: Oct. 14, 2019
ISBN: 978-0-618-03970-8
Page Count: 384
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Review Posted Online: July 27, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2019
© Copyright 2025 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Follow
Popular in this Genre
We can’t wait for you to join Kirkus!
It’s free and takes less than 10 seconds!
Already have an account? Log in.
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
Welcome Back!
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
