A sympathetic, solid guidebook on the difficulties of caregiving.
An informative, practical guide to caring for a dying loved one.
As Abbott notes in this slim but useful book, U.S. census figures predict that 20 percent of the country’s population will be over the age of 65 by 2020. The author’s primary focus, however, is on those who care for the elderly, as they also need psychological, emotional and often financial support. He notes that “currently unpaid caregivers—typically family members—provide approximately 90 percent of the long-term care and this percentage is unlikely to decline in the future.” Drawing on his own experiences caring for elderly parents, he offers caregivers everyday advice on how to handle this final and perhaps most difficult stage of life. He begins by dissecting the ways caregivers approach death, encouraging readers to identify themselves as deniers, anticipators or emoters (who find “emotional significance in almost every event”). Abbott acknowledges the pros and cons of each approach and the ways in which they may conflict with the personality of the person who’s dying. This consideration seems obvious to a degree, but as the author notes, caregiving is not always as easy as it appears. The caregiver juggles many balls at once, and Abbott writes that it’s essential for them to know what sort of people they are. He notes that one of the biggest challenges they face is balancing the things they control—such as a loved ones’ finances or personal effects—with the things they don’t, particularly if a loved one becomes increasingly obstinate or struggles with depression and dementia. By the author’s own admission, the book is not scientific; there are few studies or quotes from experts, and at times, more references may have been helpful. The sections on the difficulty of navigating Medicaid, for instance, are intriguing, but a broader portrait of the various types of financial help available might have been useful. That said, many chapters provide caregivers with concrete, empathetic suggestions on how to protect their loved ones and themselves.
A sympathetic, solid guidebook on the difficulties of caregiving.Pub Date: April 30, 2012
ISBN: 978-1469985695
Page Count: 90
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: Jan. 10, 2014
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...
Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.
More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom.
In her third book, Doyle (Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. Emblematically arranged into three sections—“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”—the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Still, there was trouble: Straining an already troubled marriage was her husband’s infidelity, which eventually led to life-altering choices and the discovery of a love she’d never experienced before. Throughout the book, Doyle remains open and candid, whether she’s admitting to rigging a high school homecoming court election or denouncing the doting perfectionism of “cream cheese parenting,” which is about “giving your children the best of everything.” The author’s fears and concerns are often mirrored by real-world issues: gender roles and bias, white privilege, racism, and religion-fueled homophobia and hypocrisy. Some stories merely skim the surface of larger issues, but Doyle revisits them in later sections and digs deeper, using friends and familial references to personify their impact on her life, both past and present. Shorter pieces, some only a page in length, manage to effectively translate an emotional gut punch, as when Doyle’s therapist called her blooming extramarital lesbian love a “dangerous distraction.” Ultimately, the narrative is an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency.
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.Pub Date: March 10, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-9848-0125-8
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Dial Books
Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020
PROFILES
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
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