An insider’s impassioned, worthwhile look at the impact of the secrets revealed by DNA testing.
A DNA test reveals a surprise about a woman’s parentage.
The title of this blend of memoir and self-help guide is an acronym from the world of genealogy and genetics. A “non-paternity event” describes an individual whose biological father turns out to be someone other than the person listed on the birth certificate. Hay became an NPE when a commercial DNA test revealed that her biological father was her mother’s employer, a family friend she had grown up calling Uncle Tom. (His name, like most in the book, is a pseudonym.) The discovery stunned the author, who began reaching out to her half siblings and reevaluating her childhood memories. The volume moves between Hay’s account of coming to terms with a new understanding of herself and her somewhat dysfunctional family and a broader look at unexpected paternity and how people can and should respond to it. The author shares anecdotes from other NPEs that offer a variety of perspectives as well as a glance at the historical construction of paternity and legitimacy. The book is full of advice for NPEs (do reach out to newly discovered relatives in writing rather than showing up on their doorsteps; avoid paying for expensive genealogy services while emotions are high) and their friends and families. The text is acronym-heavy—“I wrote this to convey support and offer help to an NPE regarding her BM (her BCF had passed away before her discovery)”—and could have used some editorial polishing. Still, Hay’s knowledge and enthusiasm for her subject are evident. The author is strongest in telling the story of her family and exploring the intense emotions triggered by her discovery. She describes her feelings in detail and assesses what was most helpful as she hunted for answers to her questions of identity and belonging. While other books take a more comprehensive approach to investigating commercial DNA testing and the growing number of paternity surprises, Hay’s work is best suited to serving as a guide to NPEs in search of an experienced voice of reassurance and support as they adapt to their new realities.
An insider’s impassioned, worthwhile look at the impact of the secrets revealed by DNA testing.Pub Date: Oct. 15, 2021
ISBN: 978-1-64718-608-1
Page Count: 266
Publisher: Booklocker.com
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2022
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
It’s not Shakespeare, not by a long shot. But at least it’s not James Franco.
A noted actor turns to verse: “Poems are a Saturday in the middle of the week.”
McConaughey, author of the gracefully written memoir Greenlights, has been writing poems since his teens, closing with one “written in an Australian bathtub” that reads just as a poem by an 18-year-old (Rimbaud excepted) should read: “Ignorant minds of the fortunate man / Blind of the fate shaping every land.” McConaughey is fearless in his commitment to the rhyme, no matter how slight the result (“Oops, took a quick peek at the sky before I got my glasses, / now I can’t see shit, sure hope this passes”). And, sad to say, the slight is what is most on display throughout, punctuated by some odd koanlike aperçus: “Eating all we can / at the all-we-can-eat buffet, / gives us a 3.8 education / and a 4.2 GPA.” “Never give up your right to do the next right thing. This is how we find our way home.” “Memory never forgets. Even though we do.” The prayer portion of the program is deeply felt, but it’s just as sentimental; only when he writes of life-changing events—a court appearance to file a restraining order against a stalker, his decision to quit smoking weed—do we catch a glimpse of the effortlessly fluent, effortlessly charming McConaughey as exemplified by the David Wooderson (“alright, alright, alright”) of Dazed and Confused. The rest is mostly a soufflé in verse. McConaughey’s heart is very clearly in the right place, but on the whole the book suggests an old saw: Don’t give up your day job.
It’s not Shakespeare, not by a long shot. But at least it’s not James Franco.Pub Date: Sept. 16, 2025
ISBN: 9781984862105
Page Count: 208
Publisher: Crown
Review Posted Online: Aug. 15, 2025
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2025
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
BOOK REVIEW
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
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