A nuanced look at one of the most painful human emotions.
French psychoanalyst Blévis opens her casebooks on ten patients struck by the “hellish wand” of jealousy.
Her lucid vignettes reveal the inner turmoil of such individuals as Simon, a 29-year-old commodities trader whose suspicions of his girlfriend’s infidelity drove him to phone her constantly, and Paula, a woman in her 20s who felt compelled to rifle through her lovers’ pockets and drawers. In each case, Blévis found that the only way to help patients break free from their misery was to shift their perspective from the here and now to the original trauma that underlay the agonizing feeling of jealousy. The analyst must act with “patience, determination, and staying power,” she writes, entering the patient’s world to help sort out the muddle of the past. Simon, for instance, had to recognize that his need to dominate his lover stemmed from his craving for an intimacy denied by his father. Paula could let go of her extreme jealousy toward lovers only after regaining her feminine identity, which she lost in her complex relationship with her mother. Blévis shows how unexpected outbursts and seemingly insignificant details can lead to moments of healing insight for patients. In one instance, an ever-present vase of fresh flowers in the author’s office so troubled a middle-aged financial analyst that he demanded to know who was sending the bouquets. “Had the invasion of a few flowers endangered his life?” Blévis wondered. In time, she found that her patient lacked “the flowers of attention” from a mother who abandoned him in childhood. All of these jealous individuals were cut off from themselves and felt they were surrounded by people with special powers who lived in a different world, she writes. Their jealousy was a survival strategy. Once patients gave up the notion that “rivals” were causing their suffering, they could begin to explore personal issues and find a new capacity to love.
A nuanced look at one of the most painful human emotions.Pub Date: Jan. 20, 2009
ISBN: 978-1-59051-257-9
Page Count: 160
Publisher: Other Press
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2008
These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.
A helpful guide to working effectively with people from other cultures.
“The sad truth is that the vast majority of managers who conduct business internationally have little understanding about how culture is impacting their work,” writes Meyer, a professor at INSEAD, an international business school. Yet they face a wider array of work styles than ever before in dealing with clients, suppliers and colleagues from around the world. When is it best to speak or stay quiet? What is the role of the leader in the room? When working with foreign business people, failing to take cultural differences into account can lead to frustration, misunderstanding or worse. Based on research and her experiences teaching cross-cultural behaviors to executive students, the author examines a handful of key areas. Among others, they include communicating (Anglo-Saxons are explicit; Asians communicate implicitly, requiring listeners to read between the lines), developing a sense of trust (Brazilians do it over long lunches), and decision-making (Germans rely on consensus, Americans on one decider). In each area, the author provides a “culture map scale” that positions behaviors in more than 20 countries along a continuum, allowing readers to anticipate the preferences of individuals from a particular country: Do they like direct or indirect negative feedback? Are they rigid or flexible regarding deadlines? Do they favor verbal or written commitments? And so on. Meyer discusses managers who have faced perplexing situations, such as knowledgeable team members who fail to speak up in meetings or Indians who offer a puzzling half-shake, half-nod of the head. Cultural differences—not personality quirks—are the motivating factors behind many behavioral styles. Depending on our cultures, we understand the world in a particular way, find certain arguments persuasive or lacking merit, and consider some ways of making decisions or measuring time natural and others quite strange.
These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.Pub Date: May 27, 2014
ISBN: 978-1-61039-250-1
Page Count: 288
Publisher: PublicAffairs
Review Posted Online: April 15, 2014
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2014
If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.
The authors have created a sort of anti-Book of Virtues in this encyclopedic compendium of the ways and means of power.
Everyone wants power and everyone is in a constant duplicitous game to gain more power at the expense of others, according to Greene, a screenwriter and former editor at Esquire (Elffers, a book packager, designed the volume, with its attractive marginalia). We live today as courtiers once did in royal courts: we must appear civil while attempting to crush all those around us. This power game can be played well or poorly, and in these 48 laws culled from the history and wisdom of the world’s greatest power players are the rules that must be followed to win. These laws boil down to being as ruthless, selfish, manipulative, and deceitful as possible. Each law, however, gets its own chapter: “Conceal Your Intentions,” “Always Say Less Than Necessary,” “Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy,” and so on. Each chapter is conveniently broken down into sections on what happened to those who transgressed or observed the particular law, the key elements in this law, and ways to defensively reverse this law when it’s used against you. Quotations in the margins amplify the lesson being taught. While compelling in the way an auto accident might be, the book is simply nonsense. Rules often contradict each other. We are told, for instance, to “be conspicuous at all cost,” then told to “behave like others.” More seriously, Greene never really defines “power,” and he merely asserts, rather than offers evidence for, the Hobbesian world of all against all in which he insists we live. The world may be like this at times, but often it isn’t. To ask why this is so would be a far more useful project.
If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.Pub Date: Sept. 1, 1998
ISBN: 0-670-88146-5
Page Count: 430
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 1998
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