A good yardstick by which self-improvement books should be measured.
An in-your-face guide to living with integrity and finding happiness in sometimes-painful places.
Popular blogger Manson (Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, 2011) criticizes self-help books for their fundamentally flawed approach of telling readers they're special, assuring them that they can surpass—but, notably, not solve—problems, and encouraging them to embrace their exceptionalism. The author sternly disagrees, showing readers "how to pick and choose what matters to you and what does not matter to you based on finely honed values." Unlike simple affirmations or personal growth books designed to flatter or soothe, Manson urges readers to "change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.” Having better values creates better problems to solve, and those achievements will lead to a legitimately improved life. Throughout, the author continually slaps readers sharply across the face, using blunt, funny, and deceptively offhand language when expanding on his key principle: "Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different….There’s absolutely nothing admirable or confident about indifference. People who are indifferent are lame and scared. They’re couch potatoes and Internet trolls….They hide in a gray, emotionless pit of their own making, self-absorbed and self-pitying, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life.” Manson's cheeky but thoughtful opinions combine with in-depth advice in such sections as "You're Wrong About Anything (But So Am I)" and "How To Be a Little Less Certain of Yourself” (hint: “if it’s down to me being screwed up, or everybody else being screwed up, it is far, far, far more likely that I’m the one who’s screwed up”). This book, full of counterintuitive suggestions that often make great sense, is a pleasure to read and worthy of rereading.
A good yardstick by which self-improvement books should be measured.Pub Date: Sept. 13, 2016
ISBN: 978-0-06-245771-4
Page Count: 224
Publisher: HarperOne
Review Posted Online: July 3, 2016
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2016
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
The Cinderella Complex revisited, this time with dollar signs added. In The Cinderella Complex (1981) Dowling hypothesized that even the most liberated woman had a secret hope that The Prince, glass slipper in hand, was en route to rescue her from independence and responsibility. The book was an international bestseller, earning Dowling millions. Ten years later she was broke, owing the IRS more than $70,000. She sold the two houses she owned, moved into a small rental, and paid the federal government $760 a month to retire her debt. At one point, Dowling moans, she had grossed $400,000 a year and ran American Express bills up to $3,000 a month; now she was reduced to shopping at discount stores and coloring her own hair. Sympathy from economically hard-pressed readers is likely to take a deep dive at this point. To her credit, Dowling takes responsibility for her irresponsibility about money and seizes the opportunity to explore why she and other women like her don—t, or can—t, plan ahead. The same yearning to have someone else take care of them, a reluctance to take risks, and an inclination to provide for others lead women toward financial insolvency, as does a pervasive “bag lady” fantasy—that they will end up on the streets, penniless, in their old age. While noting recent research on preadolescent girls’ socially conditioned retreat from competence, Dowling nevertheless rather unconvincingly sets up men as models of financial prudence. Her efforts to present female role models are undermined by her examples, among them the Beardstown Ladies, recently exposed as less than they seemed to be. There is no question that managing money is a cause of great anxiety—but as many men as women have ridden the roller coaster of high times, only to crash and burn. Copying male habits may not be the answer. Engagingly written, but essentially a reworking of the territory of the author’s earlier books, without many surprises. (Author tour)
Pub Date: June 1, 1998
ISBN: 0-316-19120-5
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 1998
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
McElroy (Animals as Teachers and Healers, not reviewed) celebrates “the lessons learned at the four-footed threshold,” where animals point to “a particularly rich and rewarding track to personal awareness and to a more genuine and soul-filled life.” Here McElroy explores five stations on the shared path of animals and human spirituality, communication, service, forgiveness, and transformation—through stories (“When I had cancer, I learned quickly that stories were far more healing to me than statistics or information”) told by herself and “other animal-oriented souls.” Pretty much from the get-go, McElroy’s soul, “the inner guardian of our lives,” had spoken to her about her affinity to animals: “Could I have chosen my passion, I would not have chosen animals . . . But I did not choose, I was chosen.” And so, on this note of surrender, she listens to animals closely, she observes their body language, she endeavors to tap their enchanting and graceful presence, to be on the lookout for signs and messages—using the ancient language of empathy and intuition—with which to create a shared world. Much of what she learns is straightforward: how animals teach humans about service (the sheep dog, the shepherd), how they live in the moment, are (almost) always ready to give a second chance to a malefactor, demonstrate dignity in death. She doesn’t claim to know “the inner life of an animal with any degree of certainty,” but she stands squarely behind the validity of fantastical human-animal experiences, including the conversation an animal communicator had with an elephant, said pachyderm speaking at length on planetary transformation, the suffering of Mother Earth, and “the bass note in the symphony of life.” Little new ground is turned—with the exception of that elephant. As a result, McElroy and her fellow testamentarians’ souls can get wearying, as can the mild epiphanies that allow them to become ever worthier and more intimate with the animals.
Pub Date: Nov. 1, 1998
ISBN: 0-345-42403-4
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Ballantine
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 1998
© Copyright 2025 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Follow
Popular in this Genre
We can’t wait for you to join Kirkus!
It’s free and takes less than 10 seconds!
Already have an account? Log in.
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
Welcome Back!
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
