Bettencourt takes a broad view of opportunities small and large for forgiveness, and in doing so, she provides hope for a...
One writer’s journey through learning about the many forms forgiveness can take.
We’re living in a time of rage, anger, censure, and punishment online, where any misstep is treated grievously with heaping helpings of shaming. The Internet often serves as an outlet for anger, a way to redress perceived wrongdoings, but it also, over time, leaves more anger than it vents. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is less likely to be found trending on Twitter; it takes work, or at least that’s what journalist Bettencourt thought. An especially humiliating and public dissolution of a relationship left her feeling justified in embracing nonforgiveness wholeheartedly, but she began to wonder whether maybe there might be something to a different approach. She became aware of the story of Azim Khamisa, whose 20-year-old son was shot and killed. Somehow, almost immediately, Khamisa began moving toward forgiveness: “There were victims at both ends of that gun,” he told a friend. Of course, the intention toward forgiveness was started as just that, and it did little to salve the pain, anger, and grief that plagued him initially. But the process led to salvation of his mind and soul. Bettencourt was naturally interested in finding her own peace of mind, so she began to explore other stories of forgiveness against all odds. She sees the intersection of forgiveness and redemption in the process of asking for forgiveness for herself, and she has learned that forgiveness requires restoring trust not just in others, but also in ourselves. Forgiving one’s parents, not only for things they have done, but also for the things they should have done, presents the difficult challenge of accepting shortcomings we often see in ourselves.
Bettencourt takes a broad view of opportunities small and large for forgiveness, and in doing so, she provides hope for a way forward that focuses more on acceptance than retribution.Pub Date: Aug. 11, 2015
ISBN: 978-1-59463-263-1
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Hudson Street/Penguin
Review Posted Online: Aug. 5, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 1, 2015
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...
Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.
More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom.
In her third book, Doyle (Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. Emblematically arranged into three sections—“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”—the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Still, there was trouble: Straining an already troubled marriage was her husband’s infidelity, which eventually led to life-altering choices and the discovery of a love she’d never experienced before. Throughout the book, Doyle remains open and candid, whether she’s admitting to rigging a high school homecoming court election or denouncing the doting perfectionism of “cream cheese parenting,” which is about “giving your children the best of everything.” The author’s fears and concerns are often mirrored by real-world issues: gender roles and bias, white privilege, racism, and religion-fueled homophobia and hypocrisy. Some stories merely skim the surface of larger issues, but Doyle revisits them in later sections and digs deeper, using friends and familial references to personify their impact on her life, both past and present. Shorter pieces, some only a page in length, manage to effectively translate an emotional gut punch, as when Doyle’s therapist called her blooming extramarital lesbian love a “dangerous distraction.” Ultimately, the narrative is an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency.
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.Pub Date: March 10, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-9848-0125-8
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Dial Books
Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020
PROFILES
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SEEN & HEARD
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