"Parenting is not a science; it's an art": the authors avoid smug formulae and write in a colloquial, jargon-free style.
A lively, wise, and user-friendly translation of bewildering teen-aged behavior.
Riera is an author, educator, and media expert on adolescence and parenting (the Oxygen network and other major TV shows), while Di Prisco is a writer who has taught adolescents for decades. For all the significant issues taken up, there are realistic scenarios that provide tools for discussion. In the "Drinking and Driving" chapter, the authors tell us why the Designated Driver takes too much marijuana (offered by a girl he likes) and why his inebriated friend is willing to drive home (not miss curfew). Another frightening case involves school violence: a high school freshman hesitates to report a gun because he fears being pegged as a "narc." Other areas where teenagers test their newly expanded limits involve date rape and drug use. Riera and Di Prisco assure us that it's rarely about getting sexual release or getting high, but rather a matter of social status and self-worth. Since high-school students are unlikely to discuss problems with adults, the authors advise us to get information more subtly, from friends and peers. If communication across the generation gap is strained, we are warned that the young of different ages tend to "talk over and past each other." More common crises taken up here include academic cheating, eating disorders, clashes with a job supervisor, depression, and romantic heartbreaks. When it comes to problems that they didn't cause, like parental divorce or being born with a learning disability, young people slowly learn to accept that life isn't fair—but is survivable. Sure, parents are helpless before the mystery of their child's love life, but empathy never prevents Riera and Di Prisco from advising parents to set firm guidelines.
"Parenting is not a science; it's an art": the authors avoid smug formulae and write in a colloquial, jargon-free style.Pub Date: Sept. 1, 2000
ISBN: 0-7382-0267-3
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Perseus
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2000
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
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