A book that deserves wide attention and discussion among aging readers and those who care for them.
A book about growing old and the indignities—many of them avoidable—that aging entails.
Connolly, former head of the U.S. Department of Justice’s Elder Justice Initiative, opens with the observation that in the 20th century, Americans added 30 years to their average life spans. Technology has helped, with family connections maintained by Zoom calls, uncooperative hips and knees easily replaced, and so forth, so that “for millions of people, there has never been a better time to be old.” People in their 70s report being happier than ever in the lives. Then come the 80s, when, as Connolly observes, some three-quarters of people suffer some “functional disability” that drastically reduces quality of life. Many of the attendant phenomena are structural and can be changed. However, most elder care is provided by unpaid family members, such as spouses and adult children, at an estimated annual loss of $522 billion in potential income. Those caregivers are often untrained, while facilities sometimes prey on patients. Regarding the latter, Connolly urges stronger policing and punishment, and she argues against the common practice of assigning full guardianship to non–family members. As she writes, many of the societal woes that the elderly face are intersectional: Women face both ageism and sexism, while older minority members face racism and economic discrimination—to say nothing of worse institutional care generally, as the demographics of Covid-19 deaths in nursing homes attest. Throughout this lucid and thought-provoking treatise, Connolly offers thoughts on ways of improving life for the elderly, ranging from living in mixed-age communities rather than seniors-only retirement enclaves to applying psychotropic drugs to the treatment of anxiety and depression in hopes of finding “ways that mind-altering substances might alter the course of mind-altering diseases.”
A book that deserves wide attention and discussion among aging readers and those who care for them.Pub Date: July 18, 2023
ISBN: 9781541702721
Page Count: 384
Publisher: PublicAffairs
Review Posted Online: April 11, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2023
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...
A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.
Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016
ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6
Page Count: 248
Publisher: Random House
Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015
PERSPECTIVES
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
BOOK REVIEW
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
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