A straightforward study of the intricate ties between daughters and their aging mothers. Journalist and biographer Beard (Growing Up Republican: Christy Whitman, the Politics of Character, 1996) presents detailed case studies of the varied bonds between older mothers and their mostly middle-aged daughters at this most crucial and often demanding stage in their relationship. Covered are such issues as living arrangements, financial difficulties, long-distance relationships, severe illness, and death. While many daughters interviewed are willing to uproot their lives to be closer to their aging mothers and have grown more respectful of them as they—ve aged, others withdraw resentfully and distance themselves further. What makes the relationship between mothers and daughters particularly complex these days, contends Beard, is “the changes in the culture that our generation has made.” While women just one generation earlier were taught that their main purpose was to marry well and serve as an emotional buttress to their husbands, today’s women are almost as likely to be divorced and financially independent. Contemporary women are generally far more educated, driving another wedge between the generations. In examining failed relationships between mothers and daughters, the most common form of “bad mothering” that emerges is “verbal abuse, which usually takes the form of relentless criticism.” When an adult daughter is constantly disparaged by her mother, it’s possible for her to break the abusive cycle, insists Beard, either by caring for her aging mother or by becoming a supportive mother herself. In exceptional cases, all ties have to be severed. A mother’s aging “provides a chance for growth and a uniquely intense intimacy.” Particularly strong, in fact, are the ties between black mothers and their daughters, with almost twice as many blacks as whites over 65 living in multigenerational homes. Interesting and informative, this offers insights into an intricately complex emotional sphere.
Pub Date: May 6, 1999
ISBN: 0-446-52359-3
Page Count: 304
Publisher: N/A
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 1999
For Howard Zinn, long-time civil rights and anti-war activist, history and ideology have a lot in common. Since he thinks that everything is in someone's interest, the historian—Zinn posits—has to figure out whose interests he or she is defining/defending/reconstructing (hence one of his previous books, The Politics of History). Zinn has no doubts about where he stands in this "people's history": "it is a history disrespectful of governments and respectful of people's movements of resistance." So what we get here, instead of the usual survey of wars, presidents, and institutions, is a survey of the usual rebellions, strikes, and protest movements. Zinn starts out by depicting the arrival of Columbus in North America from the standpoint of the Indians (which amounts to their standpoint as constructed from the observations of the Europeans); and, after easily establishing the cultural disharmony that ensued, he goes on to the importation of slaves into the colonies. Add the laborers and indentured servants that followed, plus women and later immigrants, and you have Zinn's amorphous constituency. To hear Zinn tell it, all anyone did in America at any time was to oppress or be oppressed; and so he obscures as much as his hated mainstream historical foes do—only in Zinn's case there is that absurd presumption that virtually everything that came to pass was the work of ruling-class planning: this amounts to one great indictment for conspiracy. Despite surface similarities, this is not a social history, since we get no sense of the fabric of life. Instead of negating the one-sided histories he detests, Zinn has merely reversed the image; the distortion remains.
Pub Date: Jan. 1, 1979
ISBN: 0061965588
Page Count: 772
Publisher: Harper & Row
Review Posted Online: May 26, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 1979
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...
A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.
Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016
ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6
Page Count: 248
Publisher: Random House
Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015
PERSPECTIVES
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