An informative compilation of examples and exercises, but one that feels incomplete.
Lecturer and consultant Dale aims to teach women how to be more assertive in their everyday lives.
In this guide, the author, a professor emeritus of speech communication at Miami Dade College, presents a series of stories followed by resolutions, interactive examples, and exercises that attempt to define and encourage more confident and self-assured behavior. At times, the accounts seem to bleed into one another a bit; for example, readers learn about the fictional Pam and Carl’s dinner conversation, another woman and her lawyer’s scheduling conflict, and the author’s friend’s assertion that Dale is “aggressive”—all on the same page. However, the interactive exercises in each chapter are brief and specific and always include a sample solution that guides readers to a recommended approach to taking control of the situation. This format often works well, as it gives readers a tangible solution to situations that they come across every day; for example, in the same chapter, she provides the following example: “A client of yours asks you to reduce your customary fee for a service you provide. You know your charges are fair and competitive with the going rate for the same service charged by other local professionals.” When Dale provides assertive statements for use during confrontations—such as “I don’t appreciate your remark” or “There’s no need for sarcasm” in response to a put-down in a later chapter—it effectively allows the user to see how a simple, brief statement can be used to help one to stand one’s ground. There’s a clear shortcoming to the text, though, in that the perspective of women of color is entirely missing from the discussion. In Dale’s examinations of assertiveness versus aggressiveness, she mentions that “women who regularly use [a] submissive or nonassertive communication style report feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem,” and she portrays submissiveness as universally bad. At no point, though, does the book discuss the way that race and prejudice affect women of color’s approaches to problem-resolution or how they’re more likely to be coded as “aggressive” when, in fact, they’re being “assertive,” as defined by this book.
An informative compilation of examples and exercises, but one that feels incomplete.Pub Date: April 14, 2021
ISBN: 978-1-09-835220-2
Page Count: 268
Publisher: BookBaby
Review Posted Online: Sept. 2, 2021
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.
The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.
Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023
ISBN: 9781627783316
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Viva Editions
Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.
Want to get ahead in business? Consult a dictionary.
By Wharton School professor Berger’s account, much of the art of persuasion lies in the art of choosing the right word. Want to jump ahead of others waiting in line to use a photocopy machine, even if they’re grizzled New Yorkers? Throw a because into the equation (“Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I’m in a rush?”), and you’re likely to get your way. Want someone to do your copying for you? Then change your verbs to nouns: not “Can you help me?” but “Can you be a helper?” As Berger notes, there’s a subtle psychological shift at play when a person becomes not a mere instrument in helping but instead acquires an identity as a helper. It’s the little things, one supposes, and the author offers some interesting strategies that eager readers will want to try out. Instead of alienating a listener with the omniscient should, as in “You should do this,” try could instead: “Well, you could…” induces all concerned “to recognize that there might be other possibilities.” Berger’s counsel that one should use abstractions contradicts his admonition to use concrete language, and it doesn’t help matters to say that each is appropriate to a particular situation, while grammarians will wince at his suggestion that a nerve-calming exercise to “try talking to yourself in the third person (‘You can do it!’)” in fact invokes the second person. Still, there are plenty of useful insights, particularly for students of advertising and public speaking. It’s intriguing to note that appeals to God are less effective in securing a loan than a simple affirmative such as “I pay all bills…on time”), and it’s helpful to keep in mind that “the right words used at the right time can have immense power.”
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.Pub Date: March 7, 2023
ISBN: 9780063204935
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Harper Business
Review Posted Online: March 23, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 2023
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