Will resonate among readers responsible for aging parents.
Two friends recount their individual experiences caring for their elderly mothers (both mothers are in their 90s) in a slim, debut volume that reveals varying attitudes toward the challenges of dealing with the changing relationships between parents and adult children.
Plumb is an only child, bearing full responsibility for his mother. Pertilla is the youngest of three daughters and benefits from a division of labor among the siblings. Plumb also arrives with unresolved conflicts—his mother has always refused to tell him who his birth father is: “You have 100 percent of my genes, which has nothing to do with him,” she says. But both must come to the rescue when the frailties of old age smack up against the normal obstacles of everyday life. Plumb’s mother hears “suspicious” noises from the neighbors, which leads him to spend several nights at her apartment. Pertilla’s mother calls her at work with an “emergency” when she forgets how to work the TV remote control. The conversational-style prose employed by both authors lends a comforting, group-therapy quality to the text, a successful literary safe zone in which they reveal their own personal moments of discomfort—Plumb’s embarrassment when taking his mother shopping for new underwear; Pertilla’s shock as she learns her mother has secretly prepackaged her urine sample for the doctor. It’s this sharing of their experiences that helps Plumb, especially, move past considerable anger to acceptance and, finally, an expression of his love for his mother. Pertilla, identifying more closely with her mother, has greater insight into Mama’s perspective: “It’s easy [for me] to remember how difficult it can be for such a speedy woman to be slowed down by age...how hard it must be for an active little bee...who is used to helping others, now to wait for others to help her.” Overall, the book serves as an honest presentation that is less a guide than a supportive acknowledgement and validation of emotional turmoil.
Will resonate among readers responsible for aging parents.Pub Date: March 7, 2017
ISBN: 978-1-5127-7627-0
Page Count: 108
Publisher: Westbow Press
Review Posted Online: July 11, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2017
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
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