An engrossing look at why relationships matter, featuring an unprecedented abundance of data to back it up.
A comprehensive examination of what makes a “good life,” based on a study that “has followed the lives of two generations of individuals from the same families for more than eighty years.”
Waldinger and Schulz, the current director and associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which began in 1938, use the data from this massive research project to make a convincing argument about what constitutes a good life. Early in the book, they give their conclusion: “Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.” The authors present consistently fascinating insights about the lives of many of the study’s participants, as well as those in related studies, showing what aspects of life are most beneficial, regardless of age, gender, class, wealth, or status. Encompassing the experiences of more than 1,300 descendants from the original 724 participants, the project is “the longest in‑depth longitudinal study of human life ever done”—and it is ongoing. The resulting book, write Waldinger and Schulz, “is deeply informed, appropriately, by the long and fruitful friendship of its authors.” Most readers fully understand the chaos of modern-day life, “a haze of competing social, political, and cultural priorities, some of which have very little to do with improving people’s lives.” The Harvard Study, on the other hand, has always remained devoted to illuminating the “lived experiences” of the participants, showing the value of a wide variety of relationships, whether focused on family, friends, romantic partners, or work colleagues. Throughout, the authors maintain a conversational tone and include many of the questions and exercises used in the study to allow readers to examine their own relationships and to develop them further. The book is perfect for readers of Arthur Brooks, Daniel Pink, Angela Duckworth, and other writers who delve into how to fashion prosperous, fulfilling lives.
An engrossing look at why relationships matter, featuring an unprecedented abundance of data to back it up.Pub Date: Jan. 10, 2023
ISBN: 978-1-982166-69-4
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: Nov. 1, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2022
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.
Want to get ahead in business? Consult a dictionary.
By Wharton School professor Berger’s account, much of the art of persuasion lies in the art of choosing the right word. Want to jump ahead of others waiting in line to use a photocopy machine, even if they’re grizzled New Yorkers? Throw a because into the equation (“Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I’m in a rush?”), and you’re likely to get your way. Want someone to do your copying for you? Then change your verbs to nouns: not “Can you help me?” but “Can you be a helper?” As Berger notes, there’s a subtle psychological shift at play when a person becomes not a mere instrument in helping but instead acquires an identity as a helper. It’s the little things, one supposes, and the author offers some interesting strategies that eager readers will want to try out. Instead of alienating a listener with the omniscient should, as in “You should do this,” try could instead: “Well, you could…” induces all concerned “to recognize that there might be other possibilities.” Berger’s counsel that one should use abstractions contradicts his admonition to use concrete language, and it doesn’t help matters to say that each is appropriate to a particular situation, while grammarians will wince at his suggestion that a nerve-calming exercise to “try talking to yourself in the third person (‘You can do it!’)” in fact invokes the second person. Still, there are plenty of useful insights, particularly for students of advertising and public speaking. It’s intriguing to note that appeals to God are less effective in securing a loan than a simple affirmative such as “I pay all bills…on time”), and it’s helpful to keep in mind that “the right words used at the right time can have immense power.”
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.Pub Date: March 7, 2023
ISBN: 9780063204935
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Harper Business
Review Posted Online: March 23, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 2023
© Copyright 2023 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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