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I'D RATHER BURN THAN BLOOM

Heart-wrenching and heart-filled.

In New Mexico, a grief-stricken family grapples with the sudden loss of their matriarch.

Marisol Martin is a sophomore when her Filipina immigrant mom dies in a car accident after one of their many screaming fights—they were constantly, painfully at odds with one another. Marisol’s final condescending question, “Why don’t you understand anything?” reverberates in her guilty conscience; she believes the accident was her fault. Left with her emotionally unavailable White dad, a nonresponsive younger brother, and Filipina childhood best friends Yvonne and Tes, all of whom are unable to help her in her sadness, Marisol spirals. Despite never having been drunk or “even made out with a boy” before her mother’s death, the vicissitudes of grief lead Marisol to drink vodka, sleep with Yvonne’s boyfriend, and even punch Yvonne in the face. Suspended from school and sent to juvie, Marisol meets Mexican American Elizabeth, a clever, adventurous overachiever who breathes new possibility into her life. Readers who relish deep character development will appreciate Marisol’s messy evolution toward self-forgiveness. Her confessional first-person narration often reads like a movie, and it teems with vivid insights about crushes, longings, friend breakups, and complicated family dynamics set against the burning backdrop of the Albuquerque desert. The representation of a Filipino experience in the United States is done with superlative skill, rendering this beautifully written debut a model for how to expertly weave culturally specific cues into a universal story.

Heart-wrenching and heart-filled. (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: July 11, 2023

ISBN: 9781250845665

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

Review Posted Online: April 24, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2023

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IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind.

In this companion novel to 2013’s If He Had Been With Me, three characters tell their sides of the story.

Finn’s narrative starts three days before his death. He explores the progress of his unrequited love for best friend Autumn up until the day he finally expresses his feelings. Finn’s story ends with his tragic death, which leaves his close friends devastated, unmoored, and uncertain how to go on. Jack’s section follows, offering a heartbreaking look at what it’s like to live with grief. Jack works to overcome the anger he feels toward Sylvie, the girlfriend Finn was breaking up with when he died, and Autumn, the girl he was preparing to build his life around (but whom Jack believed wasn’t good enough for Finn). But when Jack sees how Autumn’s grief matches his own, it changes their understanding of one another. Autumn’s chapters trace her life without Finn as readers follow her struggles with mental health and balancing love and loss. Those who have read the earlier book will better connect with and feel for these characters, particularly since they’ll have a more well-rounded impression of Finn. The pain and anger is well written, and the novel highlights the most troublesome aspects of young adulthood: overconfidence sprinkled with heavy insecurities, fear-fueled decisions, bad communication, and brash judgments. Characters are cued white.

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind. (author’s note, content warning) (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2024

ISBN: 9781728276229

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Jan. 5, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2024

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IF HE HAD BEEN WITH ME

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.

The finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut.

Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is “quirky and odd,” while Finny is “sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him.” But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations.

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.   (Fiction. 14 & up)

Pub Date: April 1, 2013

ISBN: 978-1-4022-7782-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Feb. 12, 2013

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2013

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