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An Alcoholic's Anonymous Ex

Not for everyone, but a surprisingly satisfying and ultimately optimistic remembrance.

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This memoir by an anonymous debut author recounts the damage that her now-ex-husband’s alcoholism did to her and their son.

“I am a writer,” the author says up front. “Mostly I write a lot of lists, checks, and cutting emails that I never send; but they’re decisively pointed and crushing, I assure you.” Her narrative about her troubled relationship with her ex is filled with her appropriate frustration and rage—a full-on cathartic explosion that simultaneously details the hits that kept on coming and her resolve to rebuild and persevere. Foreclosure, bankruptcy, and nonexistent court-ordered child support payments, she says, were merely the surface damage inflicted by her ex-husband. More distressing, she asserts, was the psychological damage, especially to her young son, who learned too early that disappointment defined his relationship with his father. She now has full custody of their 9-year-old son, following her ex’s numerous DWIs, several stints in rehab, lost jobs, and refusal to admit he had a problem. Still, her child is beginning to thrive, and she sees a path ahead: “We need to do enough and love enough and live enough to make the most of the moments we have.” It should be stated from the get-go that if readers find constant rough language offensive, this book will not suit them; to say it’s salty doesn’t do it justice. But it’s also funny, irreverent, and creatively ironic. The author, who introduces herself as “Sherry,” isn’t only a special education teacher at a New Jersey middle school; she’s also a bartender, and she effectively brings skills from both careers to this memoir. Each chapter begins with a recommended alcoholic beverage to be “paired” with the chapter subject, complete with a recipe. “A child’s suffering is the single most heart-wrenching experience a parent can endure,” Sherry tells readers in the chapter titled “Happy Hour” (suggested pairing: “Pitcher of Pink Sangria”).

Not for everyone, but a surprisingly satisfying and ultimately optimistic remembrance.

Pub Date: N/A

ISBN: 978-1-5397-0643-4

Page Count: -

Publisher: Dog Ear Publisher

Review Posted Online: Aug. 12, 2016

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THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.

Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018

ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5

Page Count: 580

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018

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UNTAMED

Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.

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More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom.

In her third book, Doyle (Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. Emblematically arranged into three sections—“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”—the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Still, there was trouble: Straining an already troubled marriage was her husband’s infidelity, which eventually led to life-altering choices and the discovery of a love she’d never experienced before. Throughout the book, Doyle remains open and candid, whether she’s admitting to rigging a high school homecoming court election or denouncing the doting perfectionism of “cream cheese parenting,” which is about “giving your children the best of everything.” The author’s fears and concerns are often mirrored by real-world issues: gender roles and bias, white privilege, racism, and religion-fueled homophobia and hypocrisy. Some stories merely skim the surface of larger issues, but Doyle revisits them in later sections and digs deeper, using friends and familial references to personify their impact on her life, both past and present. Shorter pieces, some only a page in length, manage to effectively translate an emotional gut punch, as when Doyle’s therapist called her blooming extramarital lesbian love a “dangerous distraction.” Ultimately, the narrative is an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency.

Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.

Pub Date: March 10, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-9848-0125-8

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Dial Books

Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020

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