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THE RESILIENT SELF

Name: THE RESILIENT SELF
Author: Steven J. Wolin
ISBN: 0-394-58357-4

HOW SURVIVORS OF TROUBLED FAMILIES RISE ABOVE ADVERSITY

by Steven J. Wolin & Sybil Wolin ‧ RELEASE DATE: April 1, 1993

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A self-help volume for adult children of dysfunctional families that puts the emphasis on rising above adversity rather than on reliving the pain of abusive relationships. Here's a book with as many clichÇs as there are buzzwords in the sentence above, with the authors including dozens of anecdotes about people with no last names—Barbara, Noreen, Alan, Bill; a do- it-yourself ``Damage Inventory''; and terms like ``Damage Model,'' ``Challenge Model,'' and ``Victim's Trap,'' plus a list of seven ``resiliences'' that line up to become chapters in the book—which, however, is not without value. The Wolins (he: Psychiatry/George Washington School of Medicine; she: a child-development specialist) point out to victims and therapists alike that children of troubled families may be more instrumental in their own survival than they realize. Even as preschool youngsters, they may implement one or more of the ``resiliences''—insight, independence, initiative, humor, creativity, or morality—to preserve a core of self. The chapter on relationships is typical, illustrated by stories of one ``Sandra'' 's friendship with an elderly neighbor, and including an interesting reanalysis of the ``sympathetic witness''—a theory, popularized by Alice Miller, that children who overcome histories of abuse do so with the help of an adult who befriends them. But the Wolins suggest that it may be the abused child, shrewdly identifying grown-ups who may be supportive, who seeks out and befriends the adult. Although the authors don't explain fully why some abused children grow up to be healthy adults and some don't, they provide a broader base for thinking about the issue. A positive—if too gimmicky—spin for those who think of themselves as victims. (Diagrams—not seen)

Pub Date: April 1, 1993

ISBN: 0-394-58357-4

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Villard

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 1993

Categories:

PSYCHOLOGY | SELF-HELP

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THE CULTURE MAP

BREAKING THROUGH THE INVISIBLE BOUNDARIES OF GLOBAL BUSINESS

by Erin Meyer ‧ RELEASE DATE: May 27, 2014

These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.

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A helpful guide to working effectively with people from other cultures.

“The sad truth is that the vast majority of managers who conduct business internationally have little understanding about how culture is impacting their work,” writes Meyer, a professor at INSEAD, an international business school. Yet they face a wider array of work styles than ever before in dealing with clients, suppliers and colleagues from around the world. When is it best to speak or stay quiet? What is the role of the leader in the room? When working with foreign business people, failing to take cultural differences into account can lead to frustration, misunderstanding or worse. Based on research and her experiences teaching cross-cultural behaviors to executive students, the author examines a handful of key areas. Among others, they include communicating (Anglo-Saxons are explicit; Asians communicate implicitly, requiring listeners to read between the lines), developing a sense of trust (Brazilians do it over long lunches), and decision-making (Germans rely on consensus, Americans on one decider). In each area, the author provides a “culture map scale” that positions behaviors in more than 20 countries along a continuum, allowing readers to anticipate the preferences of individuals from a particular country: Do they like direct or indirect negative feedback? Are they rigid or flexible regarding deadlines? Do they favor verbal or written commitments? And so on. Meyer discusses managers who have faced perplexing situations, such as knowledgeable team members who fail to speak up in meetings or Indians who offer a puzzling half-shake, half-nod of the head. Cultural differences—not personality quirks—are the motivating factors behind many behavioral styles. Depending on our cultures, we understand the world in a particular way, find certain arguments persuasive or lacking merit, and consider some ways of making decisions or measuring time natural and others quite strange.

These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.

Pub Date: May 27, 2014

ISBN: 978-1-61039-250-1

Page Count: 288

Publisher: PublicAffairs

Review Posted Online: April 15, 2014

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2014

Categories:

BUSINESS | PSYCHOLOGY

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THE 48 LAWS OF POWER

by Robert Greene ‧ RELEASE DATE: Sept. 1, 1998

If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.

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The authors have created a sort of anti-Book of Virtues in this encyclopedic compendium of the ways and means of power.

Everyone wants power and everyone is in a constant duplicitous game to gain more power at the expense of others, according to Greene, a screenwriter and former editor at Esquire (Elffers, a book packager, designed the volume, with its attractive marginalia). We live today as courtiers once did in royal courts: we must appear civil while attempting to crush all those around us. This power game can be played well or poorly, and in these 48 laws culled from the history and wisdom of the world’s greatest power players are the rules that must be followed to win. These laws boil down to being as ruthless, selfish, manipulative, and deceitful as possible. Each law, however, gets its own chapter: “Conceal Your Intentions,” “Always Say Less Than Necessary,” “Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy,” and so on. Each chapter is conveniently broken down into sections on what happened to those who transgressed or observed the particular law, the key elements in this law, and ways to defensively reverse this law when it’s used against you. Quotations in the margins amplify the lesson being taught. While compelling in the way an auto accident might be, the book is simply nonsense. Rules often contradict each other. We are told, for instance, to “be conspicuous at all cost,” then told to “behave like others.” More seriously, Greene never really defines “power,” and he merely asserts, rather than offers evidence for, the Hobbesian world of all against all in which he insists we live. The world may be like this at times, but often it isn’t. To ask why this is so would be a far more useful project.

If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.