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FROM SUFFERING TO SALVE

MY JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS

A sometimes-insightful, if slightly uneven, collection that catalogs a journey from devastation to renewal.

A personal book of poems about overcoming adversity and rediscovering oneself.

This collection focuses on themes of metamorphosis. The first section, “Suffering,” opens with “Weathering the Storm Another Day,” a poem about a contentious relationship in which the speaker refuses to participate anymore. “Cut the Power” describes an effort to leave the past behind and begin again with a clean slate. The speaker of “Gray Is a Warning To Heed” metaphorically evicts a toxic person from their being, and another wrestles with isolation in “Loneliness Called, She Wants You Back.” Zan employs a baseball metaphor to describe a failure at love and a willingness to try again in “Divorce, America’s Favorite Pastime.” A classmate who killed herself is the subject of “Sharing Aloneness With Willa.” The “Scars” section kicks off with “I Became From Where I Am,” a poem about identity and family. In the “Salve” section, the speakers experience a sort of rebirth, reuniting with friends, experimenting with makeup, basking in nature, and opening up to love again. The poet ends the collection on an uplifting note—joyful, determined, and “braving a future unknown.” Zan chooses her words carefully, using vibrant verbs and sensual adjectives, as when she describes how a speaker’s “skin singes,” the “bourbon-orange glow of the sun,” the “velvety / warmth” of coffee, or an embrace “enclosing me like a / weighted blanket.” She also shows a brave vulnerability; the speaker of “10 Truths: If I’m Being Honest,” for example, unleashes a slew of unflattering confessions, including a desire to be anorexic, a contemplation of suicide, and a wish that a husband was dead. Another work, “There Lived a Girl on Birch Lane,” takes on the perspective of a teen who gave up a child for adoption as it explores a theme of abandonment. But the book occasionally veers into melodramatic territory in self-pitying stanzas such as “No one sees / how do I start? / to describe the pain / of my folded heart.” There are a few clichéd similes, as well, including “I savored you like a filet mignon.”

A sometimes-insightful, if slightly uneven, collection that catalogs a journey from devastation to renewal.

Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2021

ISBN: 978-1-94-753604-3

Page Count: 84

Publisher: Turtle Cove Press

Review Posted Online: May 23, 2021

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MY FRIENDS

A tender and moving portrait about the transcendent power of art and friendship.

An artwork’s value grows if you understand the stories of the people who inspired it.

Never in her wildest dreams would foster kid Louisa dream of meeting C. Jat, the famous painter of The One of the Sea, which depicts a group of young teens on a pier on a hot summer’s day. But in Backman’s latest, that’s just what happens—an unexpected (but not unbelievable) set of circumstances causes their paths to collide right before the dying 39-year-old artist’s departure from the world. One of his final acts is to bequeath that painting to Louisa, who has endured a string of violent foster homes since her mother abandoned her as a child. Selling the painting will change her life—but can she do it? Before deciding, she accompanies Ted, one of the artist’s close friends and one of the young teens captured in that celebrated painting, on a train journey to take the artist’s ashes to his hometown. She wants to know all about the painting, which launched Jat’s career at age 14, and the circle of beloved friends who inspired it. The bestselling author of A Man Called Ove (2014) and other novels, Backman gives us a heartwarming story about how these friends, set adrift by the violence and unhappiness of their homes, found each other and created a new definition of family. “You think you’re alone,” one character explains, “but there are others like you, people who stand in front of white walls and blank paper and only see magical things. One day one of them will recognize you and call out: ‘You’re one of us!’” As Ted tells stories about his friends—how Jat doubted his talents but found a champion in fiery Joar, who took on every bully to defend him; how Ali brought an excitement to their circle that was “like a blinding light, like a heart attack”—Louisa recognizes herself as a kindred soul and feels a calling to realize her own artistic gifts. What she decides to do with the painting is part of a caper worthy of the stories that Ted tells her. The novel is humorous, poignant, and always life-affirming, even when describing the bleakness of the teens’ early lives. “Art is a fragile magic, just like love,” as someone tells Louisa, “and that’s humanity’s only defense against death.”

A tender and moving portrait about the transcendent power of art and friendship.

Pub Date: May 6, 2025

ISBN: 9781982112820

Page Count: 448

Publisher: Atria

Review Posted Online: July 4, 2025

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 1, 2025

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THE WEDDING PEOPLE

Uneven but fitfully amusing.

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  • New York Times Bestseller

Betrayed by her husband, a severely depressed young woman gets drawn into the over-the-top festivities at a lavish wedding.

Phoebe Stone, who teaches English literature at a St. Louis college, is plotting her own demise. Her husband, Matt, has left her for another woman, and Phoebe is taking it hard. Indeed, she's determined just where and how she will end it all: at an oceanfront hotel in Newport, where she will lie on a king-sized canopy bed and take a bottle of her cat’s painkillers. At the hotel, Phoebe meets bride-to-be Lila, a headstrong rich girl presiding over her own extravagant six-day wedding celebration. Lila thought she had booked every room in the hotel, and learning of Phoebe's suicidal intentions, she forbids this stray guest from disrupting the nuptials: “No. You definitely can’t kill yourself. This is my wedding week.” After the punchy opening, a grim flashback to the meltdown of Phoebe's marriage temporarily darkens the mood, but things pick up when spoiled Lila interrupts Phoebe's preparations and sweeps her up in the wedding juggernaut. The slide from earnest drama to broad farce is somewhat jarring, but from this point on, Espach crafts an enjoyable—if overstuffed—comedy of manners. When the original maid of honor drops out, Phoebe is persuaded, against her better judgment, to take her place. There’s some fun to be had here: The wedding party—including groom-to-be Gary, a widower, and his 11-year-old daughter—takes surfing lessons; the women in the group have a session with a Sex Woman. But it all goes on too long, and the humor can seem forced, reaching a low point when someone has sex with the vintage wedding car (you don’t want to know the details). Later, when two characters have a meet-cute in a hot tub, readers will guess exactly how the marriage plot resolves.

Uneven but fitfully amusing.

Pub Date: July 30, 2024

ISBN: 9781250899576

Page Count: 384

Publisher: Henry Holt

Review Posted Online: Sept. 13, 2024

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