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Shedding the Myths We Grew Up With

An illuminating primer to unearthing and managing one’s damaging stories.

Awards & Accolades

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A therapist discusses how to recognize and release oneself from negative self-images in this debut psychology and self-help guide.

St. John Smith, a Vancouver, British Columbia–based therapist, opens this book with her own discovery that she’d led her life with the incorrect belief, formed and reinforced throughout her childhood, that she wasn’t intelligent. She then segues into a discussion of personal “myths”: “every single person has their own set of stories about themselves,” she says. She aims her book at readers “who carry negative and limiting myths…and, as a result, lead lives that aren’t nearly as enriching as they could be.” She outlines how such negative stories lead to patterns of shame, fear, and anxiety and how they reinforce negative coping styles, such as surrendering, avoiding, or overcompensating. She maps out what she deems the 10 most common myths (“I’m not attractive enough,” “I’m not successful enough,” and so on) and shares 27 case studies, loosely based on her own patients’ experiences, to uncover these myths and develop action plans for positive change. She provides worksheets so that readers may do similar awareness and self-development work, and later, she notes that forgiving others for their parts in myth creation may be hard, but it’s a way to regain one’s personal power. She concludes by warning that myths’ impacts never fade away completely, but by using her methods, she says, “we can find ways to manage the thoughts and feelings that arise.” St. John Smith (Willy Earns His Wings, 2015), the author of a previous children’s book, here offers a helpful book for adults looking to become more cognizant of their own developmental influences and take conscious steps to control their own lives. Her case studies, in particular, clarify and reinforce her therapeutic ideas, and her inclusion of her own struggles makes her a relatable and authoritative guide. Although readers may wish that St. John Smith had explored more than 10 myths, she’s still created a valuable springboard that will let readers begin to question and tackle any type of negative personal belief.

An illuminating primer to unearthing and managing one’s damaging stories.

Pub Date: Feb. 15, 2016

ISBN: 978-1-5193-1903-6

Page Count: 212

Publisher: CreateSpace

Review Posted Online: July 20, 2016

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THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.

Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018

ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5

Page Count: 580

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018

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MASTERY

Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...

Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.

The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.

Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.

Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012

ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012

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