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All I Ever Wanted Was to be Called Mom

A WOMAN'S EPIC QUEST FOR SALVATION ON THE ROAD TO MOTHERHOOD

A gripping story stymied by wildly out-of-date views on women’s roles and sexuality.

A British husband and wife tell stories of fertility treatments and harrowing hospital stays in this self-help book aimed at couples struggling to start a family.

When Steve (co-author, Realms and the Giant’s Spear, 2015, etc.) and Vaso Petrou tied the knot in 1994, they knew that they wanted children. But despite consulting ovulation charts and saying plenty of prayers, their story remained the same: no baby, and lots of tears. “We forgot how vibrant and happy we were in the beginning,” recalls Steve. “This sadness became part of what we were.” A trip to the doctor helped to explain their struggle, as Vaso learned that she had polycystic ovaries, a condition that causes irregular menstruation and makes it difficult to pinpoint peak fertility. After four years of trying on their own, the couple began in vitro fertilization treatments to increase the odds. Although this helped Vaso conceive, the couple faced greater obstacles as she struggled to carry a pregnancy to term. Overall, the Petrous have a powerful story to tell. One early passage, for example, is particularly heartbreaking: Vaso conceives after her first IVF treatment, but then doctors discover that the fetus has severe defects and say that the pregnancy must be terminated. The couple also provides helpful, easy-to-understand explanations of ovarian hyperstimulation and lifesaving technologies to assist premature infants. However, many readers may not get far enough to glean such useful information. The book’s first third is repetitive, and several comments may be off-putting to some members of the couple’s target audience; for example, Steve repeatedly states he has “no real desire” to find out how the female body works and tells men to prepare themselves to endure “a lot of unreasonable arguments” from their partners if they choose IVF—a procedure in which the woman is injected with hormones. In another instance, Steve implies that trying for a baby is easier for women because they “just lie down.”

A gripping story stymied by wildly out-of-date views on women’s roles and sexuality.

Pub Date: March 16, 2016

ISBN: 978-1-63047-665-6

Page Count: 174

Publisher: Morgan James Publishing

Review Posted Online: Feb. 2, 2016

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THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.

Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018

ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5

Page Count: 580

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018

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PERMISSION TO FEEL

UNLOCKING THE POWER OF EMOTIONS TO HELP OUR KIDS, OURSELVES, AND OUR SOCIETY THRIVE

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.

We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Celadon Books

Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019

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