An honest, moving account of family life gone haywire.
San Francisco Chronicle columnist Lara turns to memoir.
No one said raising teenagers was easy, but no one said it should necessarily involve drugs, truancy, alcoholism, and abortions, either. The author lived in a pretty complicated family situation even before her daughter turned 12: she and her third husband lived with her two kids in the same house with her second husband (the kids’ dad). Then Lara’s own father (who had vanished many years ago, leaving behind his wife and seven kids) moved in, too. Lara’s daughter Morgan was a happy and apparently well-adjusted girl, and her downhill slide began pretty innocently—cigarettes and a little drinking. Soon she was having sex with her boyfriend (a fact she shared with her mom over sushi), mouthing off in class, and cheating on tests at school. Lara sent her to stay with an aunt and uncle for the summer, hoping that some time away from city temptations would clean her up, but the aunt promptly sent the girl back—wary of leaving a seductive, nubile, and obviously promiscuous teenager alone with her husband. The author shows how her struggles with parenthood affected the rest of her life—her marriage became tense, and her confidence in her work began to dissolve. She and her third husband, who had contemplated having a baby, decided against it—in part because they couldn’t imagine voluntarily signing up for adolescence again. Lara finally realized that, while she will always love her daughter (even when she dies her hair purple), she will not always like her, and the story ends happily: Morgan got sober, got her life back on track, got into college, and eventually graduated. The most sympathetic character turns out not to be Lara or Morgan but Lara’s husband, Bill, caught in the middle of a family squabble to which he doesn't really belong.
An honest, moving account of family life gone haywire.Pub Date: Feb. 23, 2001
ISBN: 0-7679-0507-5
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Broadway
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2001
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
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