A practical introduction to nesting, aimed at parents on the verge of living apart.
For couples considering separation or divorce, it can be difficult to calmly discuss future co-parenting plans. As licensed clinical psychologist Buscho explains in this well-structured debut, nesting is a way for such couples to reduce conflict while providing a consistent home for their children. The author defines it as “an arrangement where the children stay in the family home, and the parents rotate in and out for their scheduled parenting time.” When not on duty, the other parent lives either in a shared off-site residence, a different home, or in a separate area of the family residence. Buscho recognizes that only parents with considerable financial means can engage in nesting and that the arrangement is inappropriate for families suffering from problems involving substance abuse or domestic violence. But for certain families, she notes, the benefits of temporarily nesting during a turbulent time can be substantial. For example, it can allow the parent who has traditionally had less parenting time during the marriage to “develop closer ties with the children while ‘coming up to speed’ as a solo parent.” Buscho convincingly describes the potential benefits and shortcomings of this parenting method and addresses questions regarding budgeting, communication, and parents’ future romantic relationships. She also gives detailed instructions for creating a successful, personalized nesting agreement as well as valuable templates and worksheets that couples may use as they evolve into co-parents. Buscho also provides suggestions for self-care, which occasionally feel a bit simplistic. However, the author’s compassion and wisdom are evident throughout—in part because the author went through the nesting process herself when she and her husband divorced. “Case in Point” vignettes throughout feature specific families’ stories, allowing Buscho to include perspectives from different cultures and family structures.
A perceptive and essential guide to an uncommon family arrangement.Pub Date: Sept. 1, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-50-721409-1
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Adams Media
Review Posted Online: July 13, 2021
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2021
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Categories: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS | GENERAL NONFICTION
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The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
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The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 31, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
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SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
The veteran actor, comedian, and banjo player teams up with the acclaimed illustrator to create a unique book of cartoons that communicates their personalities.
Martin, also a prolific author, has always been intrigued by the cartoons strewn throughout the pages of the New Yorker. So when he was presented with the opportunity to work with Bliss, who has been a staff cartoonist at the magazine since 1997, he seized the moment. “The idea of a one-panel image with or without a caption mystified me,” he writes. “I felt like, yeah, sometimes I’m funny, but there are these other weird freaks who are actually funny.” Once the duo agreed to work together, they established their creative process, which consisted of working forward and backward: “Forwards was me conceiving of several cartoon images and captions, and Harry would select his favorites; backwards was Harry sending me sketched or fully drawn cartoons for dialogue or banners.” Sometimes, he writes, “the perfect joke occurs two seconds before deadline.” There are several cartoons depicting this method, including a humorous multipanel piece highlighting their first meeting called “They Meet,” in which Martin thinks to himself, “He’ll never be able to translate my delicate and finely honed droll notions.” In the next panel, Bliss thinks, “I’m sure he won’t understand that the comic art form is way more subtle than his blunt-force humor.” The team collaborated for a year and created 150 cartoons featuring an array of topics, “from dogs and cats to outer space and art museums.” A witty creation of a bovine family sitting down to a gourmet meal and one of Dumbo getting his comeuppance highlight the duo’s comedic talent. What also makes this project successful is the team’s keen understanding of human behavior as viewed through their unconventional comedic minds.
A virtuoso performance and an ode to an undervalued medium created by two talented artists.Pub Date: Nov. 17, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-250-26289-9
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: Aug. 31, 2020
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2020
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