HOLY CRAP! THE WORLD IS ENDING! by Anna-Marie Abell

HOLY CRAP! THE WORLD IS ENDING!

How a Trip to the Bookstore Led to Sex with an Alien and the Destruction of Earth
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KIRKUS REVIEW

A California girl finds the hunky love of her life in a Barnes & Noble—and he turns out to be an ancient alien, the harbinger of Earth’s destruction.

In this debut novel, Autumn is a hip, slim Orange County girl with a habit of listening to late-night, conspiracy-talk radio. Inspired to visit a Barnes & Noble for a book on “light beings,” the alien visitors du jour, she suddenly senses invisible forces and hears voices in her head. It seems that the handsome-as-a-god stranger glimpsed at the bookstore is, in fact, a god—or the equivalent, a nearly ageless alien who, with the rest of his unimaginably advanced civilization, inspired legends of ancient Sumerian divinities and Noah’s flood (their doing, in fact). Rigel, Autumn’s newfound, hot extraterrestrial boyfriend, is an “Anunnaki,” one of a space-going race who guided the evolution of humans in primordial days (using them as slaves in gold mining) and whose home world, Nibiru, normally remains unseen in the solar system. But Nibiru’s orbit is about to brush with Earth’s. The cataclysmic alignment will kill all of humanity unless the heroine—gifted with a blue-colored soul, a fact that could shake the whole Galactic Federation to its foundation—makes the ultimate sacrifice. The busy plotline takes breathers not only for ecstatic trans-species sex (or attempts, the whole “light being” thing making intimacy a tricky proposition), but also retellings of Mesopotamian mythology with such figures as Innana, Enki, and Enil recast as squabbling space gods (and reappearing in Autumn’s apocalypse). Abell uses the flibbertigibbet voice of a chick-lit heroine for this comical take on UFO lore and Erich von Däniken’s pseudo-science in Chariots of the Gods?, complete with a world-shattering denouement of cosmic catastrophe. It kind of works—or at least goes down easier than had it been played for straight sci-fi/fantasy and paranormal romance, as most scribes in those genres’ stacks would have done. Abell name-checks such real-life, fringe-science authors as Zecharia Sitchin and Marshall Klarfeld and lists them as suggested reading in a short afterword (the e-book version provides links), though this yarn can be taken either as gonzo humor or a primer for cult-y New Age cosmology. That it bills itself as the first installment of the Anunnaki Chronicles suggests that the bleak ending is a cliffhanger.

A chirpy doomsday tale starring a Bridget Jones–esque protagonist. 

Pub Date: Sept. 21st, 2017
ISBN: 978-1-947119-02-4
Publisher: Alien Abduction Press
Program: Kirkus Indie
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