by Anne Roiphe ‧ RELEASE DATE: May 14, 2002
Established Roiphe admirers will add this to their collections; those exploring the complexities of marriage will find an...
An extended reflection on the rewards of marriage from the author of Fruitful (1996), itself an eloquent polemic in defense of bearing and raising children.
The essential message here is that marriage is hard but worth the work. The summary may seem pat, but the discussion is not. As befits the author of a feminist classic (Up the Sandbox, 1970), Roiphe pokes at all sides of the marriage bed. Why, she asks, considering current sexual freedoms, greater economic opportunities for women, and the high divorce rate, would people today want to enter what is still viewed as a lifelong commitment? Because, she believes, a gratifying marriage “assuages our loneliness” and tempers the sharp edges of character without distorting individual essence. “Twoness” matters. In addition, marriage creates a workable framework in which to have children, clearly the most significant experience in the author’s life. Roiphe is not against divorce, which ended her own first marriage, praising it as a release “from what Milton has called the ‘God forbidden loneliness’ of marital unhappiness.” Arranged marriages also receive measured approval; the author beams on fictional Bridget Jones’s ultimate choice of the man Bridget’s mother had in mind all the time. (It seems hardly coincidental that Roiphe had three unmarried daughters when she wrote this book.) Living together is problematic, she concludes, because of the emotional injuries that lie in store when a couple breaks up. However, Roiphe doesn’t neglect the pitfalls of marriage: the danger of merging into your mate, boredom (sexual and otherwise), tensions caused by children, midlife crises, the minefield of expanded families—all are given due thought. Unfortunately, her provocative deliberations are undermined by a rambling style punctuated by occasionally inexplicable references, such as one to Louisa May Alcott’s husband. (Alcott never married.)
Established Roiphe admirers will add this to their collections; those exploring the complexities of marriage will find an idiosyncratic expression of familiar views.Pub Date: May 14, 2002
ISBN: 0-465-07066-3
Page Count: 288
Publisher: Basic Books
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2002
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by Helen Fremont ‧ RELEASE DATE: Feb. 11, 2020
A vivid sequel that strains credulity.
Fremont (After Long Silence, 1999) continues—and alters—her story of how memories of the Holocaust affected her family.
At the age of 44, the author learned that her father had disowned her, declaring her “predeceased”—or dead in his eyes—in his will. It was his final insult: Her parents had stopped speaking to her after she’d published After Long Silence, which exposed them as Jewish Holocaust survivors who had posed as Catholics in Europe and America in order to hide multilayered secrets. Here, Fremont delves further into her tortured family dynamics and shows how the rift developed. One thread centers on her life after her harrowing childhood: her education at Wellesley and Boston University, the loss of her virginity to a college boyfriend before accepting her lesbianism, her stint with the Peace Corps in Lesotho, and her decades of work as a lawyer in Boston. Another strand involves her fraught relationship with her sister, Lara, and how their difficulties relate to their father, a doctor embittered after years in the Siberian gulag; and their mother, deeply enmeshed with her own sister, Zosia, who had married an Italian count and stayed in Rome to raise a child. Fremont tells these stories with novelistic flair, ending with a surprising theory about why her parents hid their Judaism. Yet she often appears insensitive to the serious problems she says Lara once faced, including suicidal depression. “The whole point of suicide, I thought, was to succeed at it,” she writes. “My sister’s completion rate was pathetic.” Key facts also differ from those in her earlier work. After Long Silence says, for example, that the author grew up “in a small city in the Midwest” while she writes here that she grew up in “upstate New York,” changes Fremont says she made for “consistency” in the new book but that muddy its narrative waters. The discrepancies may not bother readers seeking psychological insights rather than factual accuracy, but others will wonder if this book should have been labeled a fictionalized autobiography rather than a memoir.
A vivid sequel that strains credulity.Pub Date: Feb. 11, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-982113-60-5
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: Oct. 20, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2019
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by Laura Schroff and Alex Tresniowski ‧ RELEASE DATE: Nov. 1, 2011
A straightforward tale of kindness and paying it forward in 1980s New York.
When advertising executive Schroff answered a child’s request for spare change by inviting him for lunch, she did not expect the encounter to grow into a friendship that would endure into his adulthood. The author recounts how she and Maurice, a promising boy from a drug-addicted family, learned to trust each other. Schroff acknowledges risks—including the possibility of her actions being misconstrued and the tension of crossing socio-economic divides—but does not dwell on the complexities of homelessness or the philosophical problems of altruism. She does not question whether public recognition is beneficial, or whether it is sufficient for the recipient to realize the extent of what has been done. With the assistance of People human-interest writer Tresniowski (Tiger Virtues, 2005, etc.), Schroff adheres to a personal narrative that traces her troubled relationship with her father, her meetings with Maurice and his background, all while avoiding direct parallels, noting that their childhoods differed in severity even if they shared similar emotional voids. With feel-good dramatizations, the story seldom transcends the message that reaching out makes a difference. It is framed in simple terms, from attributing the first meeting to “two people with complicated pasts and fragile dreams” that were “somehow meant to be friends” to the conclusion that love is a driving force. Admirably, Schroff notes that she did not seek a role as a “substitute parent,” and she does not judge Maurice’s mother for her lifestyle. That both main figures experience a few setbacks yet eventually survive is never in question; the story fittingly concludes with an epilogue by Maurice. For readers seeking an uplifting reminder that small gestures matter.
Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-1-4516-4251-3
Page Count: 288
Publisher: Howard Books/Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: July 26, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2011
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by Laura Schroff & Alex Tresniowski ; illustrated by Barry Root
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