This slim volume on fatherhood from former Nixon advisor (now Pepperdine law professor) Stein is so full of strong, often right-wing, opinions, it will not be everyone’s cup of tea, despite its declaration of love and best intentions. In their mid-40s, Stein and his wife adopted a baby boy and named him Tommy. Stein, admittedly self-obsessed, felt put out, so he absented himself to sulk in his crosstown writing studio. Little realizations gradually made it clear to him that the gulf between father and son wasn’t the kid’s fault but his own jealousy and lack of confidence. And, bully for him, he set about building a relationship with Tommy, one that blossomed into an immeasurable love. Seeing that he feels he’s learned a thing or two, here he offers the Stein Way, a handful of advice and social judgments as pertains to parenting. He believes in education and discipline, in honesty and friendship and grit, and who would argue (or feel they are learning anything new)? He also believes in the power of the almighty dollar—“Society is about money, after all”—and in spoiling Tommy: “For a few dollars I can get a few hours of peace of mind, and a happy, smiling Tommy.” It’s not exactly a few dollars; privilege is central to Stein’s notion of being a good provider, and he flaunts it. Crass, yes, but not idiotic, as are a number of other Steinisms: “male energy” is necessary for “solid centers,” easy laughter, and calmness; he chides the Boy Scout handbook for including “up-to-the-minute PC requirements for learning how to stop child sex abuse”; or “The children I see who are wrecked do not look as if they have had too much—but far too little.” Still, Tommy comes across as a good kid, and his father, self-justifying crank that he is at times, loves him to pieces. That’s a sacred combo, never to be dismissed. (Author tour)
Pub Date: June 7, 1998
ISBN: 0-684-83896-9
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Free Press
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 1998
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
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