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TOMMY AND ME

THE MAKING OF A DAD

This slim volume on fatherhood from former Nixon advisor (now Pepperdine law professor) Stein is so full of strong, often right-wing, opinions, it will not be everyone’s cup of tea, despite its declaration of love and best intentions. In their mid-40s, Stein and his wife adopted a baby boy and named him Tommy. Stein, admittedly self-obsessed, felt put out, so he absented himself to sulk in his crosstown writing studio. Little realizations gradually made it clear to him that the gulf between father and son wasn’t the kid’s fault but his own jealousy and lack of confidence. And, bully for him, he set about building a relationship with Tommy, one that blossomed into an immeasurable love. Seeing that he feels he’s learned a thing or two, here he offers the Stein Way, a handful of advice and social judgments as pertains to parenting. He believes in education and discipline, in honesty and friendship and grit, and who would argue (or feel they are learning anything new)? He also believes in the power of the almighty dollar—“Society is about money, after all”—and in spoiling Tommy: “For a few dollars I can get a few hours of peace of mind, and a happy, smiling Tommy.” It’s not exactly a few dollars; privilege is central to Stein’s notion of being a good provider, and he flaunts it. Crass, yes, but not idiotic, as are a number of other Steinisms: “male energy” is necessary for “solid centers,” easy laughter, and calmness; he chides the Boy Scout handbook for including “up-to-the-minute PC requirements for learning how to stop child sex abuse”; or “The children I see who are wrecked do not look as if they have had too much—but far too little.” Still, Tommy comes across as a good kid, and his father, self-justifying crank that he is at times, loves him to pieces. That’s a sacred combo, never to be dismissed. (Author tour)

Pub Date: June 7, 1998

ISBN: 0-684-83896-9

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Free Press

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 1998

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THE ESCAPE ARTIST

A vivid sequel that strains credulity.

Fremont (After Long Silence, 1999) continues—and alters—her story of how memories of the Holocaust affected her family.

At the age of 44, the author learned that her father had disowned her, declaring her “predeceased”—or dead in his eyes—in his will. It was his final insult: Her parents had stopped speaking to her after she’d published After Long Silence, which exposed them as Jewish Holocaust survivors who had posed as Catholics in Europe and America in order to hide multilayered secrets. Here, Fremont delves further into her tortured family dynamics and shows how the rift developed. One thread centers on her life after her harrowing childhood: her education at Wellesley and Boston University, the loss of her virginity to a college boyfriend before accepting her lesbianism, her stint with the Peace Corps in Lesotho, and her decades of work as a lawyer in Boston. Another strand involves her fraught relationship with her sister, Lara, and how their difficulties relate to their father, a doctor embittered after years in the Siberian gulag; and their mother, deeply enmeshed with her own sister, Zosia, who had married an Italian count and stayed in Rome to raise a child. Fremont tells these stories with novelistic flair, ending with a surprising theory about why her parents hid their Judaism. Yet she often appears insensitive to the serious problems she says Lara once faced, including suicidal depression. “The whole point of suicide, I thought, was to succeed at it,” she writes. “My sister’s completion rate was pathetic.” Key facts also differ from those in her earlier work. After Long Silence says, for example, that the author grew up “in a small city in the Midwest” while she writes here that she grew up in “upstate New York,” changes Fremont says she made for “consistency” in the new book but that muddy its narrative waters. The discrepancies may not bother readers seeking psychological insights rather than factual accuracy, but others will wonder if this book should have been labeled a fictionalized autobiography rather than a memoir.

A vivid sequel that strains credulity.

Pub Date: Feb. 11, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-982113-60-5

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: Oct. 20, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2019

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AN INVISIBLE THREAD

THE TRUE STORY OF AN 11-YEAR-OLD PANHANDLER, A BUSY SALES EXECUTIVE, AND AN UNLIKELY MEETING WITH DESTINY

A straightforward tale of kindness and paying it forward in 1980s New York.

When advertising executive Schroff answered a child’s request for spare change by inviting him for lunch, she did not expect the encounter to grow into a friendship that would endure into his adulthood. The author recounts how she and Maurice, a promising boy from a drug-addicted family, learned to trust each other. Schroff acknowledges risks—including the possibility of her actions being misconstrued and the tension of crossing socio-economic divides—but does not dwell on the complexities of homelessness or the philosophical problems of altruism. She does not question whether public recognition is beneficial, or whether it is sufficient for the recipient to realize the extent of what has been done. With the assistance of People human-interest writer Tresniowski (Tiger Virtues, 2005, etc.), Schroff adheres to a personal narrative that traces her troubled relationship with her father, her meetings with Maurice and his background, all while avoiding direct parallels, noting that their childhoods differed in severity even if they shared similar emotional voids. With feel-good dramatizations, the story seldom transcends the message that reaching out makes a difference. It is framed in simple terms, from attributing the first meeting to “two people with complicated pasts and fragile dreams” that were “somehow meant to be friends” to the conclusion that love is a driving force. Admirably, Schroff notes that she did not seek a role as a “substitute parent,” and she does not judge Maurice’s mother for her lifestyle. That both main figures experience a few setbacks yet eventually survive is never in question; the story fittingly concludes with an epilogue by Maurice. For readers seeking an uplifting reminder that small gestures matter.

 

Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011

ISBN: 978-1-4516-4251-3

Page Count: 288

Publisher: Howard Books/Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: July 26, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2011

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