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WHY DIDN'T I NOTICE HER BEFORE?

A profoundly moving remembrance that’s alternately sad and uplifting.

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A New York City–based film editor confronts a diagnosis of terminal cancer in this debut memoir.

In August 2017, Cramer was told that she had stage 4 ovarian cancer. During a routine medical appointment, a nurse practitioner examined a bump on the author’s pelvis and quickly handed her a slip to get an urgent CT scan, as though it were a baton in a “relay race.” She was later told that she had a “fourteen-centimeter tumor” and that she must undergo surgery to remove “the big mass…the uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, all of it,” and then receive chemotherapy. The memoir describes how Cramer, a New York film editor; her husband, Todd; and their young son, Noah, came to terms with the news. She describes all aspects of her treatment, from awaiting surgery to having a port inserted in her chest for infusions. She also poses penetrating questions—one chapter, for example, is titled “Should I Fight?”—and approaches the act of wig shopping with wickedly mordant wit: “I sit down in the wig barber’s chair looking like my two-year-old-self refusing to wear underwear because it is itchy.” The book goes on to explore how the author’s cancer diagnosis has changed her outlook on life, asking “will an illness as serious as this teach me that I no longer need to fix things, and can I finally release my grip and get on with living?” Cramer’s writing is characterized by an eagle-eyed search for positivity: “Fuck it. I want to live my life not spend time making legacy boxes of my unfinished one.” For the author, this statement is an act of personal catharsis, but her message has an inspirational universality. Some readers may flinch at her bluntness, but for most, her writing will offer revitalizing guidance: “I’m told death is close, it is imperative that I take initiative to go any direction away from stuck.” Overall, this keenly observed memoir delicately balances humor and heartache while signaling the importance of each passing moment.  

A profoundly moving remembrance that’s alternately sad and uplifting.

Pub Date: Aug. 1, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-73337-520-7

Page Count: 238

Publisher: Time Tunnel Media

Review Posted Online: Sept. 6, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 1, 2019

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NUTCRACKER

This is not the Nutcracker sweet, as passed on by Tchaikovsky and Marius Petipa. No, this is the original Hoffmann tale of 1816, in which the froth of Christmas revelry occasionally parts to let the dark underside of childhood fantasies and fears peek through. The boundaries between dream and reality fade, just as Godfather Drosselmeier, the Nutcracker's creator, is seen as alternately sinister and jolly. And Italian artist Roberto Innocenti gives an errily realistic air to Marie's dreams, in richly detailed illustrations touched by a mysterious light. A beautiful version of this classic tale, which will captivate adults and children alike. (Nutcracker; $35.00; Oct. 28, 1996; 136 pp.; 0-15-100227-4)

Pub Date: Oct. 28, 1996

ISBN: 0-15-100227-4

Page Count: 136

Publisher: Harcourt

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 1996

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TO THE ONE I LOVE THE BEST

EPISODES FROM THE LIFE OF LADY MENDL (ELSIE DE WOLFE)

An extravaganza in Bemelmans' inimitable vein, but written almost dead pan, with sly, amusing, sometimes biting undertones, breaking through. For Bemelmans was "the man who came to cocktails". And his hostess was Lady Mendl (Elsie de Wolfe), arbiter of American decorating taste over a generation. Lady Mendl was an incredible person,- self-made in proper American tradition on the one hand, for she had been haunted by the poverty of her childhood, and the years of struggle up from its ugliness,- until she became synonymous with the exotic, exquisite, worshipper at beauty's whrine. Bemelmans draws a portrait in extremes, through apt descriptions, through hilarious anecdote, through surprisingly sympathetic and understanding bits of appreciation. The scene shifts from Hollywood to the home she loved the best in Versailles. One meets in passing a vast roster of famous figures of the international and artistic set. And always one feels Bemelmans, slightly offstage, observing, recording, commenting, illustrated.

Pub Date: Feb. 23, 1955

ISBN: 0670717797

Page Count: -

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: Oct. 25, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 1955

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