An often engaging guide on how to find and sustain love that finds shrewd lessons in the author’s own life.
A debut self-help book for men and women to learn how to build better relationships.
As defined by Peak, the “85% man” isn’t perfect but just an average Joe trying to live and love the best he can. In this book, which aims to build better relationships between men and women, the author uses lessons from his own life as well as insights from his mother, Lucille. He offers advice that rings with honesty, as it’s always grounded in real-life, everyday experiences. The first lesson comes from Lucille’s belief that men and women are from completely different planets, and from there, Peak works through the ups and downs of his love life, using an extended metaphor of his ex-wives as experimental aircrafts. His first marriage to his high school sweetheart ended because he wanted children and she did not, and Peak offers the advice that one can only be responsible for one’s own happiness. Later, the book delves into the author’s online dating history, in which he shares his rule to add 10 years and 15 pounds to the figures women provide in personal ads. The second half concentrates on 15 lessons to help readers as they travel on the path toward love, including ways to find unconditional love, let go of past hurts and maintain a marriage. The final section leaves readers with important questions to ask themselves when choosing a mate. Although the book’s vivid anecdotes are entertaining, there are times when the story’s moral isn’t always clear. The self-help aspects suffer in comparison to the more intriguing stories about Peak’s parents, children and friends, and the book might have been more compelling if it was a more straightforward memoir. Overall, however, although the book’s insights aren’t groundbreaking or revelatory, it does offer solid, reliable and common-sense advice.
An often engaging guide on how to find and sustain love that finds shrewd lessons in the author’s own life.Pub Date: Dec. 4, 2013
ISBN: 978-1489553409
Page Count: 304
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: Jan. 30, 2014
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
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