Sensitive and empathetic; offers excellent suggestions for coping with the harsh reality of caring for elderly parents.
In this guide, a music and creative arts therapist advises caregivers of aging parents.
A former director of a senior center, Conroy (One Man’s Music, 2008) shares personal insights into the challenges associated with caring for elderly loved ones. Much of this short book focuses on the inevitable emotional baggage that exists between adult child and aging parent, demonstrating that truly understanding the relationship one has with one’s mother or father is the basis for compassionate caregiving. Conroy draws from her professional experiences as well as the trying interactions she had with her own father, lending an intimate slant to this instructional manual. She suggests that the caregiver needs to identify “Three Truths” (“your parent’s basic personality type,” “your relationship to your parent,” and “what your parent needs to feel validated and whole”) to be most effective. The author’s well-constructed description of the four “dysfunctional” parent personality types is likely to resonate with caregivers. Her strategies for dealing with these personalities are simple yet dramatic in their impact. She learned, for example, that her “dad’s passion was talking about himself,” something that “did not interest me, but I was willing to be bored, in order to please him.” Conroy explains the ingenious way she leveraged this factor to construct a situation in which both she and her father could be entertained. Not surprisingly, some of the techniques the author uses revolve around music, and it is a delight to read how this universal language brings joy to senior center residents. One of the more intriguing observations the author makes is that “compassionate lies” are not only acceptable, but also necessary. In the case of her father, Conroy lied to him about where she was getting the money to pay for his home attendants so he would accept the care. “I hated lying to my father,” writes Conroy, “but I had no alternative….This lie injured no one....It insured my father’s safety, and saved my sanity.” Conroy’s descriptive text is augmented by cartoon illustrations by her husband, Larry.
Sensitive and empathetic; offers excellent suggestions for coping with the harsh reality of caring for elderly parents.Pub Date: May 1, 2017
ISBN: 978-1-934912-77-5
Page Count: 85
Publisher: Black Lyon Publishing
Review Posted Online: Aug. 23, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2017
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
BOOK REVIEW
Necessarily swift and adumbrative as well as inclusive, focused, and graceful.
A light-speed tour of (mostly) Western poetry, from the 4,000-year-old Gilgamesh to the work of Australian poet Les Murray, who died in 2019.
In the latest entry in the publisher’s Little Histories series, Carey, an emeritus professor at Oxford whose books include What Good Are the Arts? and The Unexpected Professor: An Oxford Life in Books, offers a quick definition of poetry—“relates to language as music relates to noise. It is language made special”—before diving in to poetry’s vast history. In most chapters, the author deals with only a few writers, but as the narrative progresses, he finds himself forced to deal with far more than a handful. In his chapter on 20th-century political poets, for example, he talks about 14 writers in seven pages. Carey displays a determination to inform us about who the best poets were—and what their best poems were. The word “greatest” appears continually; Chaucer was “the greatest medieval English poet,” and Langston Hughes was “the greatest male poet” of the Harlem Renaissance. For readers who need a refresher—or suggestions for the nightstand—Carey provides the best-known names and the most celebrated poems, including Paradise Lost (about which the author has written extensively), “Kubla Khan,” “Ozymandias,” “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” Wordsworth and Coleridge’s Lyrical Ballads, which “changed the course of English poetry.” Carey explains some poetic technique (Hopkins’ “sprung rhythm”) and pauses occasionally to provide autobiographical tidbits—e.g., John Masefield, who wrote the famous “Sea Fever,” “hated the sea.” We learn, as well, about the sexuality of some poets (Auden was bisexual), and, especially later on, Carey discusses the demons that drove some of them, Robert Lowell and Sylvia Plath among them. Refreshingly, he includes many women in the volume—all the way back to Sappho—and has especially kind words for Marianne Moore and Elizabeth Bishop, who share a chapter.
Necessarily swift and adumbrative as well as inclusive, focused, and graceful.Pub Date: April 21, 2020
ISBN: 978-0-300-23222-6
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Yale Univ.
Review Posted Online: Feb. 8, 2020
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2020
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
An extraordinary true tale of torment, retribution, and loyalty that's irresistibly readable in spite of its intrusively melodramatic prose. Starting out with calculated, movie-ready anecdotes about his boyhood gang, Carcaterra's memoir takes a hairpin turn into horror and then changes tack once more to relate grippingly what must be one of the most outrageous confidence schemes ever perpetrated. Growing up in New York's Hell's Kitchen in the 1960s, former New York Daily News reporter Carcaterra (A Safe Place, 1993) had three close friends with whom he played stickball, bedeviled nuns, and ran errands for the neighborhood Mob boss. All this is recalled through a dripping mist of nostalgia; the streetcorner banter is as stilted and coy as a late Bowery Boys film. But a third of the way in, the story suddenly takes off: In 1967 the four friends seriously injured a man when they more or less unintentionally rolled a hot-dog cart down the steps of a subway entrance. The boys, aged 11 to 14, were packed off to an upstate New York reformatory so brutal it makes Sing Sing sound like Sunnybrook Farm. The guards continually raped and beat them, at one point tossing all of them into solitary confinement, where rats gnawed at their wounds and the menu consisted of oatmeal soaked in urine. Two of Carcaterra's friends were dehumanized by their year upstate, eventually becoming prominent gangsters. In 1980, they happened upon the former guard who had been their principal torturer and shot him dead. The book's stunning denouement concerns the successful plot devised by the author and his third friend, now a Manhattan assistant DA, to free the two killers and to exact revenge against the remaining ex-guards who had scarred their lives so irrevocably. Carcaterra has run a moral and emotional gauntlet, and the resulting book, despite its flaws, is disturbing and hard to forget. (Film rights to Propaganda; author tour)
Pub Date: July 10, 1995
ISBN: 0-345-39606-5
Page Count: 432
Publisher: Ballantine
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 1995
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
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