Two golf-lovers team up for a comic first novel. Our hero and narrator, Tom Cruickshank, is playing perhaps his worst round of golf ever at Pine Valley, and since his boss has a deal riding on Tom's performance, he may lose his job. Then Tom is whisked away by an elderly golfer named Harry Brady, magically transported to the greens of Mount Augustus, the most difficult course in the universe because it's ruled by Scottish gods every bit as capricious as those in the Greek pantheon. If Tom plays a great round, Harry assures him, he'll enjoy a reward from the Great God MacKenzie himself—and, since time doesn't exist on Mount Augustus, Tom can return to his earthly match only moments after leaving. In fact, Tom is, without his knowledge, being auditioned as Harry's replacement as the gopher for the gods: In exchange for certain favors, Harry long ago agreed to keep the immortals supplied with Cuban cigars, fancy perfumes, and vintage liquor from the mortal world. Smith and Holms have a lot of fun with this, using holes one through eighteen to portray the various lesser gods of golf such as Mulligan, god of excuses; Divot, god of bad lies; Twitch, god of putting; and Lorena, a foul-smelling harpy who presides over the wicked slice. Best of all are Wendell and Ruppert, hucksters who talk like siding salesmen, the gods of winter rules; and the hated MacTavish, the legalistic, entirely unreasonable god of all rules. Days pass, Harry disappears, and Tom even falls in love before he's brought to trial in the clubhouse, accused of cheating. Threatened with spending eternity in the celestial foundry, Tom negotiates a clever deal and marches back to the next hole at Pine Valley with every confidence he'll win the round. Aimed at the country club set, and very funny.
Pub Date: July 11, 1996
ISBN: 0-671-54684-8
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Pocket
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 1996
The best-selling author of tearjerkers like Angel Falls (2000) serves up yet another mountain of mush, topped off with...
Talk-show queen takes tumble as millions jeer.
Nora Bridges is a wildly popular radio spokesperson for family-first virtues, but her loyal listeners don't know that she walked out on her husband and teenaged daughters years ago and didn't look back. Now that a former lover has sold racy pix of naked Nora and horny himself to a national tabloid, her estranged daughter Ruby, an unsuccessful stand-up comic in Los Angeles, has been approached to pen a tell-all. Greedy for the fat fee she's been promised, Ruby agrees and heads for the San Juan Islands, eager to get reacquainted with the mom she plans to betray. Once in the family homestead, nasty Ruby alternately sulks and glares at her mother, who is temporarily wheelchair-bound as a result of a post-scandal car crash. Uncaring, Ruby begins writing her side of the story when she's not strolling on the beach with former sweetheart Dean Sloan, the son of wealthy socialites who basically ignored him and his gay brother Eric. Eric, now dying of cancer and also in a wheelchair, has returned to the island. This dismal threesome catch up on old times, recalling their childhood idylls on the island. After Ruby's perfect big sister Caroline shows up, there's another round of heartfelt talk. Nora gradually reveals the truth about her unloving husband and her late father's alcoholism, which led her to seek the approval of others at the cost of her own peace of mind. And so on. Ruby is aghast to discover that she doesn't know everything after all, but Dean offers her subdued comfort. Happy endings await almost everyone—except for readers of this nobly preachy snifflefest.
The best-selling author of tearjerkers like Angel Falls (2000) serves up yet another mountain of mush, topped off with syrupy platitudes about life and love.Pub Date: March 1, 2001
ISBN: 0-609-60737-5
Page Count: 336
Publisher: Crown
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2001
Britisher Swift's sixth novel (Ever After, 1992 etc.) and fourth to appear here is a slow-to-start but then captivating tale of English working-class families in the four decades following WW II. When Jack Dodds dies suddenly of cancer after years of running a butcher shop in London, he leaves a strange request—namely, that his ashes be scattered off Margate pier into the sea. And who could better be suited to fulfill this wish than his three oldest drinking buddies—insurance man Ray, vegetable seller Lenny, and undertaker Vic, all of whom, like Jack himself, fought also as soldiers or sailors in the long-ago world war. Swift's narrative start, with its potential for the melodramatic, is developed instead with an economy, heart, and eye that release (through the characters' own voices, one after another) the story's humanity and depth instead of its schmaltz. The jokes may be weak and self- conscious when the three old friends meet at their local pub in the company of the urn holding Jack's ashes; but once the group gets on the road, in an expensive car driven by Jack's adoptive son, Vince, the story starts gradually to move forward, cohere, and deepen. The reader learns in time why it is that no wife comes along, why three marriages out of three broke apart, and why Vince always hated his stepfather Jack and still does—or so he thinks. There will be stories of innocent youth, suffering wives, early loves, lost daughters, secret affairs, and old antagonisms—including a fistfight over the dead on an English hilltop, and a strewing of Jack's ashes into roiling seawaves that will draw up feelings perhaps unexpectedly strong. Without affectation, Swift listens closely to the lives that are his subject and creates a songbook of voices part lyric, part epic, part working-class social realism—with, in all, the ring to it of the honest, human, and true.
Pub Date: April 5, 1996
ISBN: 0-679-41224-7
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Knopf
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 1996
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