ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE STEALING LOOSE CHANGE FROM MY POCKETS WHILE I SLEEP

Name: ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE STEALING LOOSE CHANGE FROM MY POCKETS WHILE I SLEEP
Author: David S. Atkinson
ISBN: 978-1-942856-28-3

by David S. Atkinson ‧ RELEASE DATE: July 1, 2018

Unorthodox, irreverent, and diverting tales.

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Atkinson (Apocalypse All the Time, 2017, etc.) offers a collection of flash-fiction about subjects ranging from an invasion of aerobic dancers to a tyrannosaur-sized human looking for living space.

Each of the absurdist tales here drops its main characters into bizarre, often surreal situations, with most clocking in at less than two pages in length. In one, the narrator refuses to exit a Ferris wheel at the “Scotchtoberfest,” all to avoid Henry Kissinger, who wants to know what happened to his 1987 Chevy convertible. Similarly weird predicaments abound in other tales—a city’s residents uses price comparison and couponing to find a new mayor, a civilization of tiny elves turns up in an old oatmeal container, or a cellophane-wrapped Christmas ham is, sadly, also made of cellophane and packing tape. Historical figures and celebrities also populate the book, including Benjamin Franklin on a cocaine high and in need of gas money, and Tom Cruise, who vainly tries sparking discussions on controversial matters, such as Scientology, with an apathetic new neighbor. Pop-culture references are generally to decades-old TV shows and movies, but Atkinson effectively links them to more topical concerns, such as genetically modified foods. He also tackles air travel and, repeatedly, dentists and tooth care. The majority of the stories’ titles are inordinately long and sometimes irrelevant, but typically hilarious, such as “Linseed Oil is Not an Effective Sunblock Ointment Even If You Mix it With Two Parts Crisco and Three Parts Heavy Water Beforehand, James Madison’s Amateur Home Hobbyist Chemistry Thesis Notwithstanding.” Even at its most preposterous, though, Atkinson’s prose is sharp: “Ten thousand pairs of shoes sitting alone in a square? Of course, elephants were going to come in and steal them. What else?” And despite the stories’ brevity, readers won’t feel shortchanged, as there are well over 100 of them.

Unorthodox, irreverent, and diverting tales.

Pub Date: July 1, 2018

ISBN: 978-1-942856-28-3

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Literary Wanderlust

Review Posted Online: June 14, 2018

Review Program: Kirkus Indie

Categories:

GENERAL FICTION

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BETWEEN SISTERS

by Kristin Hannah ‧ RELEASE DATE: May 1, 2003

Briskly written soap with down-to-earth types, mostly without the lachrymose contrivances of Hannah’s previous titles...

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Sisters in and out of love.

Meghann Dontess is a high-powered matrimonial lawyer in Seattle who prefers sex with strangers to emotional intimacy: a strategy bound to backfire sooner or later, warns her tough-talking shrink. It’s advice Meghann decides to ignore, along with the memories of her difficult childhood, neglectful mother, and younger sister. Though she managed to reunite Claire with Sam Cavenaugh (her father but not Meghann’s) when her mother abandoned both girls long ago, Meghann still feels guilty that her sister’s life doesn’t measure up, at least on her terms. Never married, Claire ekes out a living running a country campground with her dad and is raising her six-year-old daughter on her own. When she falls in love for the first time with an up-and-coming country musician, Meghann is appalled: Bobby Austin is a three-time loser at marriage—how on earth can Claire be so blind? Bobby’s blunt explanation doesn’t exactly satisfy the concerned big sister, who busies herself planning Claire’s dream wedding anyway. And, to relieve the stress, she beds various guys she picks up in bars, including Dr. Joe Wyatt, a neurosurgeon turned homeless drifter after the demise of his beloved wife Diane (whom he euthanized). When Claire’s awful headache turns out to be a kind of brain tumor known among neurologists as a “terminator,” Joe rallies. Turns out that Claire had befriended his wife on her deathbed, and now in turn he must try to save her. Is it too late? Will Meghann find true love at last?

Briskly written soap with down-to-earth types, mostly without the lachrymose contrivances of Hannah’s previous titles (Distant Shores, 2002, etc.). Kudos for skipping the snifflefest this time around.

Pub Date: May 1, 2003

ISBN: 0-345-45073-6

Page Count: 400

Publisher: Ballantine

Review Posted Online: June 24, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 1, 2003

Categories:

GENERAL FICTION

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THE ALCHEMIST

by Paulo Coelho & translated by Margaret Jull Costa ‧ RELEASE DATE: July 1, 1993

Coelho's placebo has racked up impressive sales in Brazil and Europe. Americans should flock to it like gulls.

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Coelho is a Brazilian writer with four books to his credit. Following Diary of a Magus (1992—not reviewed) came this book, published in Brazil in 1988: it's an interdenominational, transcendental, inspirational fable—in other words, a bag of wind.

The story is about a youth empowered to follow his dream. Santiago is an Andalusian shepherd boy who learns through a dream of a treasure in the Egyptian pyramids. An old man, the king of Salem, the first of various spiritual guides, tells the boy that he has discovered his destiny: "to realize one's destiny is a person's only real obligation." So Santiago sells his sheep, sails to Tangier, is tricked out of his money, regains it through hard work, crosses the desert with a caravan, stops at an oasis long enough to fall in love, escapes from warring tribesmen by performing a miracle, reaches the pyramids, and eventually gets both the gold and the girl. Along the way he meets an Englishman who describes the Soul of the World; the desert woman Fatima, who teaches him the Language of the World; and an alchemist who says, "Listen to your heart" A message clings like ivy to every encounter; everyone, but everyone, has to put in their two cents' worth, from the crystal merchant to the camel driver ("concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man"). The absence of characterization and overall blandness suggest authorship by a committee of self-improvement pundits—a far cry from Saint- Exupery's The Little Prince: that flagship of the genre was a genuine charmer because it clearly derived from a quirky, individual sensibility.

Coelho's placebo has racked up impressive sales in Brazil and Europe. Americans should flock to it like gulls.