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SOMEBODY, PLEASE TELL ME WHO I AM

As illuminating as a hand grenade, and just as powerful.

Ben Bright’s senior year seems a prelude to a gloriously successful life, with college, loving girlfriend and an acting career spread out in front of him.

Except for his plan to join the army first. Stubbornly committed to being the patriot he thinks ethics demand, Ben can’t explain it to anyone—especially not Ariela, the girl he plans to marry when he returns. As Ben departs for basic training and then serves in Iraq, Ariela heads to college, and best friend Niko, along with Mr. and Mrs. Bright and autistic younger brother Chris hold to normality. When the inevitable call comes, informing them that Ben is injured, no one knows exactly what to do or how to help. With the effective use of italics to indicate Ben’s thoughts, the contrast between what the outer world sees and how he processes it is clear. Progress happens, but it’s slow, and the toll on all is plain. Chris’ reactions are particularly unblunted. In a spare 148 pages, the complexity of the aftereffects of modern war is laid bare. The tight focus on one soldier does not oversimplify but rather captures the human drama in the personal: The Brights’ marriage is more than challenged, Ariela is pulled away by her college friends and Chris’ restricted, defined universe has to expand to encompass Ben’s new condition. The book's power is in the honesty and hope conveyed.

As illuminating as a hand grenade, and just as powerful. (Fiction. 12 & up)

Pub Date: Feb. 7, 2012

ISBN: 978-1416938958

Page Count: 160

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: Dec. 2, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2012

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IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind.

In this companion novel to 2013’s If He Had Been With Me, three characters tell their sides of the story.

Finn’s narrative starts three days before his death. He explores the progress of his unrequited love for best friend Autumn up until the day he finally expresses his feelings. Finn’s story ends with his tragic death, which leaves his close friends devastated, unmoored, and uncertain how to go on. Jack’s section follows, offering a heartbreaking look at what it’s like to live with grief. Jack works to overcome the anger he feels toward Sylvie, the girlfriend Finn was breaking up with when he died, and Autumn, the girl he was preparing to build his life around (but whom Jack believed wasn’t good enough for Finn). But when Jack sees how Autumn’s grief matches his own, it changes their understanding of one another. Autumn’s chapters trace her life without Finn as readers follow her struggles with mental health and balancing love and loss. Those who have read the earlier book will better connect with and feel for these characters, particularly since they’ll have a more well-rounded impression of Finn. The pain and anger is well written, and the novel highlights the most troublesome aspects of young adulthood: overconfidence sprinkled with heavy insecurities, fear-fueled decisions, bad communication, and brash judgments. Characters are cued white.

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind. (author’s note, content warning) (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2024

ISBN: 9781728276229

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Jan. 5, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2024

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IF HE HAD BEEN WITH ME

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.

The finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut.

Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is “quirky and odd,” while Finny is “sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him.” But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations.

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.   (Fiction. 14 & up)

Pub Date: April 1, 2013

ISBN: 978-1-4022-7782-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Feb. 12, 2013

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2013

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