Amateurish and often laughable—but at least it’s not ordinary.
A disgraced Australian wellness guru heads up the cast of a du Maurier–inspired thriller.
“Yesterday I found an article about Barnsley House in an old magazine.” Just as this doesn’t quite have the resonance of “Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again,” Cockram’s debut—containing characters named Daphne and Max Summer (not de Winter), an evil housekeeper, a house fire, etc.—does not benefit by comparison to its model. So let’s forget that for now. “ ‘Promise me, Miranda. Promise me not to be ordinary.’ Her lip curled slightly at the word. ‘Promise me you’ll be an amazing woman too.’ " The late Tessa Summer’s exhortation to her daughter, Miranda, may have inspired the ambition that led to Miranda's claims that her Instagram-famous healthy recipes could cure infertility, but the only amazing things about her moment in the spotlight are a) that it ever happened, and b) the public humiliation that followed. Now Miranda’s appropriated Daddy’s credit card and is headed to the English country estate where her mother was raised, currently a destination restaurant and hotel, whose history Tessa wrote about in an international bestseller called The House of Brides. Apparently a compulsive liar, Miranda pretends she’s answering an ad looking for a nanny rather than reveal her blood relationship to the Summer family. The littlest child is in a wheelchair, there’s a cracked-up car in the driveway, the hotel and restaurant are closed, the kids' uninvolved mother vanishes within days of Miranda’s arrival, and on top of all this tsuris, the accidental nanny develops obsessional “cravings for food devoid of any nutritional value.” When she tears up upon hearing someone finally say something nice about Tessa, she attributes it to “all the processed food I was eating.” One hopes this is supposed to be funny. Parody would have been the best bet for this novel, with its two-dimensional characters, passion for clichés, and bewilderingly overcomplicated plot which relies on novelistic diary passages and closed-circuit security videos to make any sense at all.
Amateurish and often laughable—but at least it’s not ordinary.Pub Date: Oct. 22, 2019
ISBN: 978-0-06-293929-6
Page Count: 384
Publisher: Harper/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: July 27, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2019
A tasty, if not always tasteful, tale of supernatural mayhem that fans of King and Crichton alike will enjoy.
Are we not men? We are—well, ask Bigfoot, as Brooks does in this delightful yarn, following on his bestseller World War Z(2006).
A zombie apocalypse is one thing. A volcanic eruption is quite another, for, as the journalist who does a framing voice-over narration for Brooks’ latest puts it, when Mount Rainier popped its cork, “it was the psychological aspect, the hyperbole-fueled hysteria that had ended up killing the most people.” Maybe, but the sasquatches whom the volcano displaced contributed to the statistics, too, if only out of self-defense. Brooks places the epicenter of the Bigfoot war in a high-tech hideaway populated by the kind of people you might find in a Jurassic Park franchise: the schmo who doesn’t know how to do much of anything but tries anyway, the well-intentioned bleeding heart, the know-it-all intellectual who turns out to know the wrong things, the immigrant with a tough backstory and an instinct for survival. Indeed, the novel does double duty as a survival manual, packed full of good advice—for instance, try not to get wounded, for “injury turns you from a giver to a taker. Taking up our resources, our time to care for you.” Brooks presents a case for making room for Bigfoot in the world while peppering his narrative with timely social criticism about bad behavior on the human side of the conflict: The explosion of Rainier might have been better forecast had the president not slashed the budget of the U.S. Geological Survey, leading to “immediate suspension of the National Volcano Early Warning System,” and there’s always someone around looking to monetize the natural disaster and the sasquatch-y onslaught that follows. Brooks is a pro at building suspense even if it plays out in some rather spectacularly yucky episodes, one involving a short spear that takes its name from “the sucking sound of pulling it out of the dead man’s heart and lungs.” Grossness aside, it puts you right there on the scene.
A tasty, if not always tasteful, tale of supernatural mayhem that fans of King and Crichton alike will enjoy.Pub Date: June 16, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-9848-2678-7
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Del Rey/Ballantine
Review Posted Online: Feb. 9, 2020
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2020
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK TO SCREEN
Amateurish, with a twist savvy readers will see coming from a mile away.
A woman accused of shooting her husband six times in the face refuses to speak.
"Alicia Berenson was thirty-three years old when she killed her husband. They had been married for seven years. They were both artists—Alicia was a painter, and Gabriel was a well-known fashion photographer." Michaelides' debut is narrated in the voice of psychotherapist Theo Faber, who applies for a job at the institution where Alicia is incarcerated because he's fascinated with her case and believes he will be able to get her to talk. The narration of the increasingly unrealistic events that follow is interwoven with excerpts from Alicia's diary. Ah, yes, the old interwoven diary trick. When you read Alicia's diary you'll conclude the woman could well have been a novelist instead of a painter because it contains page after page of detailed dialogue, scenes, and conversations quite unlike those in any journal you've ever seen. " 'What's the matter?' 'I can't talk about it on the phone, I need to see you.' 'It's just—I'm not sure I can make it up to Cambridge at the minute.' 'I'll come to you. This afternoon. Okay?' Something in Paul's voice made me agree without thinking about it. He sounded desperate. 'Okay. Are you sure you can't tell me about it now?' 'I'll see you later.' Paul hung up." Wouldn't all this appear in a diary as "Paul wouldn't tell me what was wrong"? An even more improbable entry is the one that pins the tail on the killer. While much of the book is clumsy, contrived, and silly, it is while reading passages of the diary that one may actually find oneself laughing out loud.
Amateurish, with a twist savvy readers will see coming from a mile away.Pub Date: Feb. 5, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-30169-7
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: Nov. 3, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2018
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
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