Thought-provoking essays on aging with a bracing “keep kicking” attitude.
Benner presents a compilation of essays, written in response to queries sent to neighbors and friends, about the experience of aging.
The compiler of these pieces, then an 86-year-old “Older,” had been networking with a group of elderly members of her community. Their interactions became a source of support where those who were taking care of ailing loved ones or experiencing difficulties with their own infirmities could exchange thoughts, emotions, and ideas for problem-solving. As Benner listened to and shared with her contemporaries, she was inspired to create a book that would convey what it’s like to move into the Older years. The project is intended to offer empathetic encouragement to Olders and to educate the younger set about what lies ahead, offering tips on how they can provide support for their aging parents (hint: Call Mom and Dad frequently, just to chat). With the exception of Benner herself, the contributors are anonymous, identified only by their birth dates, which, the author acerbically observes, is the way they’re identified every time they enter a doctor’s office. Each of the 29 essays is written in the respondent’s own voice; their ages range from 68 to 99. They are a diverse lot, from a variety of professional backgrounds. From their replies, the majority appear to be financially stable, and only one respondent is in assisted living. Freedom from financial stress doubtlessly contributes to the general tone of optimism, although these essays do reveal certain melancholy commonalities, the most prevalent being loneliness and feelings of isolation. For the most part, however, the writings reflect a group of happy people who are grateful to be alive, active, and in reasonably good health, despite the increasing aches, pains, and occasional bouts with serious illnesses. The key piece of advice to be derived from these pages is to maintain flexibility; as one 76-year-old woman writes, “Never Expect Life to be a Plan A, Prepare for Plan B or C.”
Thought-provoking essays on aging with a bracing “keep kicking” attitude.Pub Date: May 30, 2023
ISBN: 9798887636269
Page Count: 202
Publisher: Newman Springs
Review Posted Online: March 2, 2024
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2024
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
PERSPECTIVES
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.
The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.
Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023
ISBN: 9781627783316
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Viva Editions
Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023
A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.
A teacher and scholar of Buddhism offers a formally varied account of the available rewards of solitude.
“As Mother Ayahuasca takes me in her arms, I realize that last night I vomited up my attachment to Buddhism. In passing out, I died. In coming to, I was, so to speak, reborn. I no longer have to fight these battles, I repeat to myself. I am no longer a combatant in the dharma wars. It feels as if the course of my life has shifted onto another vector, like a train shunted off its familiar track onto a new trajectory.” Readers of Batchelor’s previous books (Secular Buddhism: Imagining the Dharma in an Uncertain World, 2017, etc.) will recognize in this passage the culmination of his decadeslong shift away from the religious commitments of Buddhism toward an ecumenical and homegrown philosophy of life. Writing in a variety of modes—memoir, history, collage, essay, biography, and meditation instruction—the author doesn’t argue for his approach to solitude as much as offer it for contemplation. Essentially, Batchelor implies that if you read what Buddha said here and what Montaigne said there, and if you consider something the author has noticed, and if you reflect on your own experience, you have the possibility to improve the quality of your life. For introspective readers, it’s easy to hear in this approach a direct response to Pascal’s claim that “all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Batchelor wants to relieve us of this inability by offering his example of how to do just that. “Solitude is an art. Mental training is needed to refine and stabilize it,” he writes. “When you practice solitude, you dedicate yourself to the care of the soul.” Whatever a soul is, the author goes a long way toward soothing it.
A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.Pub Date: Feb. 18, 2020
ISBN: 978-0-300-25093-0
Page Count: 200
Publisher: Yale Univ.
Review Posted Online: Nov. 24, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2019
BOOK REVIEW
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